2015: A Letter to Myself

I haven't been the right space of mind lately. An idea has been running in my mind to write a letter to myself and at the end of it, discover what it tells me. so, here goes...  

~ The year saw my elder sister take the entrepreneurial route, not so much out of her choice, as much as how some incidents played out in her life. It meant investing all her hard-earned savings of the last 15 years and take a complete detour from her life plan. She has been unrelenting in her resilience to stay the course, learn a new business, stay grounded and work tremendously hard to attempt to make it work.

~ My younger sister took the other plunge and got married to the love of her life. The year started with a beautiful and memorable wedding and it was just so amazing to see her traverse the first year of marriage with such grace. The love she and her husband share, the respect for each other and how they hold each other in their hearts is just beautiful. In all this medley, she continues to run her new business and learn the ropes of entrepreneurship.

I don't say this often but my sisters are an inspiration and role models to the many women who choose to walk with their head held high.

~ My best friend had a baby girl. I am over the moon and just so happy for them. She is just so adorable and it's even more adorable to see the doting parents. The first time I held her, I went weak in my knees and felt committed to create a better world for her. 

~ One of my closest friends got married to someone who brings just so much happiness in her life. They remind of the simplicity and eternity of love. I wish them the best of life and happiness. 

~ Reconnecting with my school mates, many of them after 21 years. The un-adulterated laughter, sheer happiness, many memories and deep connections we are sharing has helped me go back to my happy place in childhood. 

~ My travels (which I love) took me to Dubai, Copenhagen and Singapore for the first time this year. Dubai was about reconnecting with friends. Singapore was about discovering food and local communities. Copenhagen was just an amazing personal holiday combined with a conference. 

~ Reconnecting with my friends in Dubai and meeting their children for the first time. Feeling loved and cared for. I felt a deep connection to their 6-year old daughter and in her found the curiosity and yearning that life has for itself. She gives me so much hope for the world and made me feel alive with empathy and love. A bond we share today, that goes beyond age, to our souls. 

~ Continuing my exploration of food and getting more confident with my cooking. Food, its history, its culture, its connections and the love it brings within people and families. Excited to explore this part of me in 2016. I feel proud of the history and love for food that I have inherited from my family.

~ Seeing one of my closest friends make a graceful and most amazing transition from her organization and through the pain of it all, discovering the expanse that life holds for her. She taught me humility and grace in letting go. Thank you for considering me trustworthy to be part of this inner journey.

~ Being part of another friend's journey to take on leadership in her organization. Fighting her demons and winning them over; building her confidence and holding herself with dignity though the journey was a lesson in self-belief. 

~ Learning about a dear friend and mentor's illness was devastating. Feel overwhelmed and helpless. Yet, in this difficult time, he just shares joy, happiness and laughter with the world. He gives us the gift of his sharing and in making us part of his journey, he helps us cope with our own pain. 

~ Dream a Dream hosted its first ever conference - Change The Script. Our attempt to go deeper with our inner journeys, ask the difficult questions, listen to each other without judgment and build a larger eco-system invested in our children. The buildup was painful but the outcomes was awe-inspiring.

~ Change at Dream a Dream also came with a whole new brand launch. Our attempt to celebrate 15 years of hardwork with being bold and unapologetic with our ideas, approaches and work. This was combined with the move to a new office - More spacious, airy, colourful and living the bold and unapologetic message. 

~ Experiencing the power of young people in Changing The Script and claiming their dreams through the immense, often unfathomable, challenges that life throws at them. Being part of this extremely difficult journey with especially 4 young graduates this year from Dream a Dream showed me the power of just backing them, trusting them and willing them on follow their dreams. Vishnu, Nandish, Ranjith, Arun - you held me together.

~ Watching Suchetha live one of her best professional years yet and really show up with her soul was just the most heartening aspect of 2015. She today holds the soul of Dream a Dream together and she does it with so much care and empathy. The result is in the most amazing team we have; people who have turned corners and discovered their most awesome self; new people who have found purpose and many more who can't wait to be part of this journey. When I see Suchetha, she shows me the kind of leadership we need in this world today - that of care, empathy and deep personal work. She lives it daily and is the best representation of that in the work of Dream a Dream today.

~ 2015 is the year I say (and have said many times) that Dream a Dream is doing its best work ever. 15 years of trying, very hard and with intention and we are just about discovering that true, sustainable change happens only with taking young people and adults through their own journeys of transformation. We stay true to the path of truth and our only commitment is to solve the problem. Every moment of everyday, we have seen, heard and experienced powerful moments of transformation in 2015. 

 ~ This year Suchetha and myself also complete 2 years of being married. It has not being without its share of doubts, challenges and questions. We have shown each other the worst within us and yet felt safe that only we can see the worst of each other and be in love. In all our turmoils, we have given each other dignity and respect and that has kept us together. We also know that when we are in sync, we are amazing. Our best inner work and our best ideas happen when we are one soul in two bodies. We crave for those moments and when they happen, its magical. We are unstoppable and we love it. 

It's been a difficult year for me. Many internal turmoils, moments of doubts, boredom, immense helplessness and many a time overwhelming shock. World events and events closer to home have deeply impacted me and paralyzed me. I feel trapped and many a time, purposeless. On days, I find myself unable to even move beyond my couch. Suchetha has held me close in these moments and given me strength. Dream a Dream has helped me stay sane and the young people have given me hope. Everyday, I hold onto something to help me get through. Boy! Am I glad I have found something every day. 

Looking back, I realize how amazingly full and rich with milestones and experiences my year has been. Family, friends, mentors and strangers who have held me close and supported me. 

In 2016, I hope I can find within me the ability to let go of the gloom and embrace the simplicity that life continues to offer. As I recently read in an inspiring book about a 100-year old man, "Whatever will be, will be"!