What Narratives are we offering our Children?

The COVID-19 pandemic has had immense impact on human and economic activity in recent memory. It has pushed many global economies, including India, into an economic recession and disrupted life as we know it for adults and children alike. With schools being closed since March 2020, this has been the longest since children have been out of school. 

Over the last few months, the Indian government started opening up the country, its industries and daily activity. However, schools continue to remain closed for physical engagement while online classes have started since September.  

In all this, I wonder, if we think about what narratives we, as adults, are offering our children and young people at the time of such loss, anxiety, distress and disruption of life as we know it. 

The Indian government announced a country-wide lockdown with a 4-hour notice. This disrupted life, livelihoods and incomes of millions of people, largely from vulnerable backgrounds. Overnight, millions lost their daily-wage jobs, were left with unpaid dues, debt and without homes and sources of income. Over the next few months, we saw with horror one of the largest migration of families within a country as millions walked thousands of kilometres to get back to their homes, villages and safety carrying their children and meagre belongings. I saw with helpless grief as images of children on their mother's laps, father's shoulders, sleeping on suitcases on footpaths and pavements as they made this journey home. 

Ever imagine, what Narratives children and young people picked up from this suffering? Why do we have to walk? Why did we have to leave our homes in the city? Why isn't someone coming to help us? I a hungry and thirsty, why am I not getting any food and water? Why is the government not coming to our aid? 

The story of a young father who sold his mobile phone to get some food for his stranded family and then died by suicide is an image that I will take to my grave. Do we wonder what his 14-year old daughter is picking up as a narrative? There is no one for us. We have to fend for ourselves. It is easier to die than to live in so much suffering. 

As families, who did manage to reach their villages, they were ostracised, not allowed to enter the villages in fear that they might be carrying the virus. Families were stranded on the outskirts of their villages and towns, helpless, hopeless, hungry, thirsty and on the verge of giving up. States decided to shut down their borders and soon hundreds of families were stuck at State borders - not been able to crossover and not being allowed to come back too. Bunched in crowded camps until the government could decide what to do with this situation, many feared for their lives and lives of their children. 

What narratives do we think children picked up then? I am not wanted. I am an inconvenience. I am a discard. I am a virus spreader. Worry, anger, frustration, fear, neglect, loss of dignity and identity were all possible emotions that children felt. 

With school closures, millions of children lost their only source of daily meal that they got in school. For many children, school was a safe refuge from the violence and abuse at home and it was no longer available. For many children, school was a safe space from a unsafe neighbourhood while their parents went to work and now they had to spend all their time in these unsafe neighbourhoods. For many parents, school offered a safe space of care for their children and gave them the strength to go out and work in the hope that their children are safe and learning. The burden of learning now fell on parents who themselves might not have gone to school. For many children, school gave them safety from their abusers and now they had no safe space leaving them vulnerable all the time. 

With dwindling cash resources, children have to go seek work to support their families; girls are being pushed towards early marriage and are more susceptible to trafficking in desperate family situations. 
With the advent of online classes, there was hope of a pivot towards online learning resources to re-engage children. Yet, early reports have shown that online classes are not working for the most vulnerable with limited access to devices, internet and network issues and unconducive learning spaces. 

There have been cases of adolescents who died by suicide because they were unable to join online classes. There have been cases of enhanced bullying in online forums by teachers and peers. 
In all this, what narratives are our children and young people picking up? That, they do not matter. They are not important. 

In all this, No political leader has reached out and spoken directly to children and young people, giving them hope, assurances and strategies that prioritises their wellbeing, safety and learning. As the country starting opening up, it was important to revive the economy first and not prioritise opening up of schools and colleges so we can help children and young people heal first. Examinations were conducted in the midst of the pandemic putting young people at risk of contracting the virus. 

As people step out of their homes, they decided it was 'back to business' when markets got crowded and busier, when religious places got crowded and when restaurants, shops and malls got crowded. In all that, we told our children - you are not yet important. your learning is not important. young wellbeing is not important. your future is not important. 

As people stop taking precautions, stop washing hands and wearing masks. Start organising weddings, get-togethers and celebrating festivals while schools remain closed and young people continue to live in confusion, distress and anxiety, we are telling them, you are not yet important. 

As young graduates live in anxiety around their future because there are no employment opportunities, there are no adults given them assurances of a secure future. 

As we adults continue to ignore one of the most important stakeholder, our young people, we are telling them that they do not matter. 

Young people are watching us. learning from us. learning from our actions. learning from what and who we choose to prioritise and we are indeed failing them. 

This trauma that children and young people are experiencing is going to make place in their bodies, deeply entrenched in their being and yes, while some young people will come out stronger, most won't. Most will carry this trauma and it will shape the adults they will become in the future. Adults who don't care; who don't show up for young people; who don't stand with young people; and those who choose individualism over the collective; choose Ego over the Eco, choose development over wellbeing, choose economic growth over biodiversity, choose GDP over the planet. 

We still have time. We can show up for young people differently. We can show with our actions and words that they matter. That their safety, wellbeing and their future matters to us. 

Let's acknowledge and accept that we are failing our young people and commit to changing that. 

Lets think about what could be our most compassionate offer to our children and young people? 

Let's prioritise safety and care, take precautions to stop the spread of the virus, come together as a collective human force, as a nation to fight this pandemic. Let's show our young people that we can listen and support each other. Lets show more kindness and care for each other. Let's hold our political leaders accountable. Lets invite them to talk to us with plans, strategies, ideas to combat the pandemic. 

Lets support government directives and initiatives designed for our safety. Let's show up everyday as a role model that we want our children to become one day. 

Lets give our young people newer, bolder, kinder narratives that build in them the capacities to help us, our communities and our planet to Thrive. This pandemic has given us an opportunity to let go of the past and embrace a new future with love, care and kindness. Lets show our young people that we truly care and are willing to change. 

Second Brothers

Last week over a dinner conversation with my boys, an interesting nuance emerged. Five of the boys had younger brothers and all of them were struggling in life. I did a quick think around other boys that I have worked with and realized that I know of at least 2 other young men whose younger brothers are struggling in life.

I asked the boys what are some of the reasons that their younger brothers are struggling and these were some of the responses

'They got more attention and care from parents because they were younger.'

'While I had to support my family through struggles of poverty and earning an income, they are enjoying the fruits of our hardwork.'

'They had more freedom.'

'They grew up in a time when the family was getting out of poverty so they didn't learn responsibilities the way I did.'

'It is the case of wrong company. Once they become part of a gang of troublemakers, it is difficult to get them back on track.'

'My mother does not believe they can do anything wrong. They get pampered at home.'

All of the above sound reasonable. However, the thing that does not sit well with me is why specifically the younger brothers. Some of the younger siblings have also been to Dream a Dream programs and yet they don't seem to have developed the Life Skills needed to make healthy life choices. Whereas, their older brothers seem to have developed the Life Skills that is helping them make healthy life choices, take responsibility, be sensitive and support their families to come out of poverty.

These young men are some of the most inspiring men I know. They deal with complex issues on a daily basis. It could be medical emergencies, displacement of homes, fights in the community, loss of jobs, marriage, relationships within family, fire hazards, health hazards, risk to life, conflict with law, poverty disputes, etc. Yet, they have shown tremendous grit and resilience to move forward in life and choose to Thrive. They are changing perceptions about themselves in their families and as they are becoming bread winners in their families, they are also taking decisions on behalf of their families. It is a joy to watch them take on life with positivity.

Yet, their siblings seem to be struggling. Even their struggles seem similar. They have dropped out of school or college; they are unable to keep a job for a long-time; they are unable to decide what they want out of life; they seem to be in conflict with the law; substance abuse; they seem to be part of a group of boys similar to them.

Challenges faced by their siblings are also dragging them down in their own life journey. Recently, a young man came into conflict with the law. His older brother was also taken in custody for questioning. Then there was the emotional layer of supporting his younger brother and helping him get out of prison. This meant requiring lawyers, money and ability to negotiate with the police since law does not follow its due process anyway. He managed all of this over 2-weeks of complex conflict and I could see that at the end of it, he was broken. He didn't know if having all this resilience and positive outlook was worth it. He didn't know if anything was worth it. It took tremendous mentoring to ensure he didn't spiral down the dark tunnel.

Another young man is struggling with the challenge that his brother is into drugs - taking them and also supplying them. He is fearful for himself and his family that they might get caught in this complex web of drug peddling. Yet, another young man has a brother who just sits around at home watching television the whole day. He expects to get food on his plate, pocket money for himself, cable television for his entertainment and yet does not expect to support his family to meet his and their needs.

I don't have an insight yet but the question has taken root in my head. Hopefully, the young men themselves will be able to give me an insight that might shape our work with young people. It has helped me realize that when we work with a young person, that person is not an isolated entity. He is deeply linked to his family, community, environment and surroundings and all of them play a considerable role in influencing his BEING and who is BECOMES.

The quest continues...

Life Skills: When will the Skilling Sector wake up to see its critical role!

Recently, Samhita published a “CSR in Skills and Livelihood Report.” This study analyses the CSR efforts of the top 100 companies with the largest CSR budgets on the BSE 500 to identify the gaps and opportunities in the skills and livelihood value chain and provides a roadmap for companies and other stakeholders to overcome these challenges.

The report states that India is currently facing a huge socio-demographic challenge given that majority of its population is in the working age with limited or no skills. As per the Labour Bureau Report 2014, the size of the skilled workforce in India is only 2%, which is extremely low when compared to countries such as China (47%), Japan (80%) and South Korea (96%). It is estimated that by around 2025, 25% of the world’s total workforce will be in India. It has also been forecasted that the average age of India’s population would be 29 in 2021 as compared to China’s average age of 37, thus giving India a unique advantage of having one of the world’s youngest populations. However, a large young population alone does not guarantee India an advantage. The country needs to ensure that its young workforce is equipped with the skills and knowledge required in a workplace so it can reap the “demographic dividend”.

To bring about a focus on skilling and consolidate efforts, the central government has brought all the skilling programmes under the ambit of a ministry created in 2014—the Ministry of Skill Development and Entrepreneurship (MSDE). The government has further stepped up its efforts through the announcement of two skill development packages worth INR 220 billion in July 2016 to improve the skills of 15 million people by 2020. While these initiatives are a step in the right direction, a few studies found that they have not yielded the expected results. Industrial Training Institutes (ITIs) constituted under the Director General of Training (DGT) have acknowledged their own shortcomings in terms of poor quality training, serious infrastructure gaps, outdated curricula, high dropout rates and minimal contact with industry. Additionally, only 5% of the 17.58 lakh people trained under the Pradhan Mantri Kaushal Vikas Yojana (PMKVY) (as of July 2016) got jobs.

As this report explores the solution to this looming crisis, it proposes a value chain approach, which is an attempt to put the “trainee” at the centre of the discussion and view the entire process of skills and livelihood development from his or her perspective. Broadly, these can be classified as pre-training, training and post-training components. Together, these steps help in ensuring that the trainee has a seamless experience and realizes the intended outcomes of the programme.

The study presents some fascinating insights and we hope Companies and NGOs will address these insights in their work with young people.

Some pointers in the report that caught our eye include:

1. Enhancing employability through soft/life skills was secondary to vocational skills.

Firstly, we need to learn to distinguish between soft skills and life skills. Soft Skills are NOT the same as Life Skills. Soft Skills have conventionally known to enhance one abilities and prospects in the job market. They are desirable skills that create a competitive edge.

Life Skills are core foundational skills without which an individual cannot overcome adversity and be prepared for a healthy, productive life as an adult. World Health Organization (WHO) defines life skills as positive and adaptive abilities that enable an individual to deal with the challenges and demands of everyday life. Life Skills help an individual be creative, take initiative, solve problems, overcome difficulties, manage conflict, negotiate, respond with empathy, be self-aware and think critically amongst other things. Without Life Skills, it is next to impossible for an individual to thrive and succeed as an adult, especially in the fast changing 21^st century.

Secondly, providing vocational skills without the foundation of Life Skills will have limited impact and thus life skills cannot be treated secondary. Life Skills is not a subject that can be taught and delivered through a 45-60 minute session. Life Skills are developed through a combination of role-modeling by the trainer/facilitator and the use of transformative, experiential pedagogies that understand adversity and ways to overcome it. Life Skills are also developed when there is consistent, long-term engagement in the presence of a caring, empathetic adult.

2. Despite gaining vocational skills, the trainee may not be ‘employable’ due to poor communication skills, a lack of confidence or, poor coping abilities. This would be especially true of trainees from lower socio-economic backgrounds who would have been conditioned very differently due to difficult circumstances.

Firstly, when it is said that youth have poor communication skills, lock confidence and poor coping abilities. These are just symptoms of a deeper challenge faced by young people from lower socio-economic backgrounds. It is the challenge of growing up in adversity and NOT conditioning (this sounds judgmental). When young people experience neglect, abandonment, lack of emotional care or violence, abuse, it impacts their ability to achieve developmental milestones and engage with the world. Experiences of adversity result in Failure to Thrive describing a situation where a child does not grow as expected on a growth chart. Adversity affects their ability to engage with the world, make healthy life choices and be successful. The impact of adversity can be seen in their adulthood and sometimes throughout life. For instance, not being able to keep a job. The report corroborates this by stating that least 1 of the 4 trainees placed dropped out in the first month according to most of the NGOs surveyed for the study.

How times have vocational programmes lamented that young people drop out within the first few weeks of the programme or don’t stick to a single job or don’t apply themselves with discipline through the training. These are not because young people are disinterested, or conditioned differently or not serious about their future. They just don’t have the abilities due to failure to thrive.

In 17 years of Dream a Dream’s experience with young people we have seen that when young people develop their Life Skills, they are able to overcome failure to thrive and re-engage with life. Hence, unless we focus on Life Skills as core foundational skills, most vocational training programmes will continue to have limited impact and not achieve long-term positive outcomes for young people.

3. The study found an overwhelming consensus among all stakeholders in terms of the role of soft and life skills in enhancing ‘employability’. Yet there was a disconnect between rhetoric and practice—while all companies were focused on ‘vocational’ skills, only half of them were considering soft skills and life skills as part of their courses.

Some of the barriers identified in the report that limits more corporate participation across the value chain included:

• Some companies were unaware of the importance of these building blocks, as the wider narrative so far has focused only on delivery of training.
• Most companies recognized the need for such support, but lacked knowledge of effective models and good practices because unlike delivery of training, the pre and post-training components have not been documented or codified systematically.
• A few companies reported that they were unable to identify credible implementation partners that could execute these activities at scale, especially around soft skills training.
• Stakeholder and donor perceptions around what constitutes impact maybe misdirected, especially when their accountability is defined as ‘number of trainees covered’, rather than outcomes such as better jobs, higher retention in those jobs etc. Certain aspects of the value chain, especially supporting the trainer or mobilization efforts could be perceived as ‘unglamorous’.
• Outcomes of soft and life skills depend on a certain degree of behavioural change that is difficult to achieve in a short duration and difficult to measure and quantify.

Dream a Dream has addressed some of these barriers successfully in our work with over 5000 young people every year and over 100,000 across 17 years. We have integrated Life Skills as a core intervention and on the foundation of Life Skills – other technical skills are developed. This has resulted in some remarkable wins – We don’t have a challenge of mobilization since our graduates are our biggest champions and do the community mobilizing for us. Our retention is at over 90%. Our graduates make choices based on their aspirations and choose from a variety of opportunities – higher education, vocational training, internships, job placements, self-employment and entrepreneurship. Over the last 6 years, we are tracking over 8000 graduates from our programme and 95% of them continue to be meaningfully engaged with life.

We have also developed and published a standardized Dream Life Skills Assessment Scale (DLSAS), the first of its kind scale in the world that measures life skills. 100% of our graduates have shown an improvement in life skills year-on-year measured using the DLSAS.

Hence, the above barriers can be overcome.

In conclusion, the pace of change in the world is frantic and unpredictable. Young people are entering a very complex future filled with many challenges. The report highlights that the demand for skilled labour and its supply is based on a set of constantly changing variables such as industrial changes, technological advances and people’s aspirations, among others. This dynamic nature of skilling underpins the need to continuously evolve and adapt courses and curriculum to ensure that they are not rendered obsolete.

For instance, it is predicted that 65% of new jobs in the world have not yet been created. Moreover, job requirements are moving from linear repetitive tasks to non-linear, multi-dimensional task requiring a host of different skills. In this scenario, focusing on specific vocations might mean a death sentence for these young people if those jobs become redundant in the future due to automation.

Hence, an investment and focus on Life Skills will help young people develop the agency and resilience to re-invent themselves in a fast changing, complex and unpredictable job scenario and continue to thrive.

As I think about how young people are preparing for this new world, I am reminded of a young person who graduated from our programme a few years back. He anticipated this future and worked on developing multiple skills. Today, he works as a Life Skills Facilitator, a Gender Expert Trainer, a Rugby Player and a Rugby Coach. All diverse jobs requiring diverse skill-sets. It was Life Skills that helped him thrive and succeed in each of his career choices and continuing to help him expand his basket of skills. He is geared up for the new world. He is adaptive, resilient and creative. He has self-belief and can reinvent himself in a changing world scenario. Today, he is definitely moving his family out of the vicious cycle of poverty while also having the resilience and agency to face the future with confidence. 

My biggest Life Lesson came during lunch-break at School

I spent 13 years in School. These included countless hours inside the classroom learning physics, chemistry, history and mathematics. I loved most of the subjects. 

I memorized dates in History but was fascinated by stories of warriors and kings when they came alive.

Shakespeare's Julius Caesar was easy to remember from the comic book than the text book as I saw the illustrations and imagined a world from a bygone era.

I practiced algorithms and theorems and a few odd compounds in Chemistry but loved most when we mixed compounds in the lab and watched magic happen.

I spent days pouring over geography trying to understand the formation of clouds and volcanoes. I dreamt of being David Livingstone and discovering a new world on Earth like he discovered the Congo basin.

I loved Computers primarily because I had a huge crush on my teacher and I so wanted to impress her.

I loved Algebra because I was challenged by a girl and it was good fun to sometimes beat her. Though, I have never understood why we learnt Algebra.

I hated Physics primarily because the teacher could not care to explain.

I didn't much care for Hindi because the teacher spent most the class session telling us stories from his life rather than teaching. So on and so forth.

Yet, all I was expected to do was memorize and regurgitate it back during examinations. The hundreds of hours inside the classroom didn't give me a single life lesson that is worth remembering. My biggest life lesson came during our lunch break at School in my 6th grade.

Every lunch break, after gobbling up our lunch, we used to form two teams and race around our colonial styled school building in a relay format. 5-6 people in a team exchanging batons after completing a full school circle. Darting between scores of students, who were playing, running, jumping around, it was our own little Olympics. This particular year, our team was in shambles. We were consistently losing every single day of the school year and our hopes were grim. We tried making team changes but nothing seemed to click. One fine afternoon, we finished lunch and gathered around for a daily race. Something was different that day. I felt a sense of calm and in a moment of consciousness, I said to myself, “we will win today!”

The race began and with each exchange of baton the other team was expanding their lead. The fastest runners from each team were reserved for the last. The last person in my friend’s team got the baton and he raced away feeling confident of winning yet another race. I received the baton just as my opponent was making his first turn. I closed my eyes for a split second and repeated, “We will win today!”

When I opened my eyes, everyone around me turned into a blur – children jumping around, playing, walking – everyone just disappeared. I saw only my opponent as he was making the turn. I ran. I ran with a sense of calm confidence. I felt my feet flying just inches above the ground. At the third turn, I overtook my opponent. I saw from the corner my eye; he had frozen in his tracks. I knew we had won not just the race but every race thereafter. We won and I knew it.

Whenever I think back at my school days, this memory is the most vivid. For years, I didn’t understand why I remembered this incident so vividly. It always comes alive like it happened yesterday. Now, I know. My body, my mind and my soul remembers this incident because it is my biggest life lesson.

It gave me my self-belief. The belief that I can make Impossible POSSIBLE!

Every time I am down in the dumps, pushed to a corner, when things seem impossible, this single experience gives me the strength and resilience to fight back, to pull myself up, to rise above and to come alive again. An experience from an inane activity that happened during lunch break at school.

I believe we all have these moments from our childhood. If we look around, our children’s lives are rich with powerful learning moments that fundamentally shape them, transform them, and give them a sense of their identity. Our children are curious and hungry to learn, discover, make sense of this world. The constant questions, the insatiable hunger to know, the Whys - these are all indicators of life's longing for itself. 

It's time schools are transformed to be nurturing environments for such powerful moments not just at lunch break but also within the classroom. 

It's time we recognize that children are dropping out of the school system because they are not feeling engaged, challenged and inspired. They are not getting their powerful learning moments that will nurture them and help them discover who they are.

It's time we accept that if we want to save this planet, we need to invest in creating experiences of empathy, love, caring and self-belief in our children.

If we can't change then maybe we just need to have longer lunch breaks so the universe can nurture its children, inspite of us. Just like Kahlil Gibran’s memorable words…

“Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself. They come through you but not from you, And though they are with you yet they belong not to you. You may give them your love but not your thoughts, For they have their own thoughts. You may house their bodies but not their souls, For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams. You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you. For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.”

Do Academic Outcomes Lead to Better Life Outcomes?

When I was in school, I was told by almost all my teachers and parents that I need to study and get good grades. I listened to them because I believed them. All through my growing up years - studying, memorizing and repeating it during examinations became my sole aim. I got good results too. I was in the top 5 in my class all through school and I took pride in that. I felt special and different. I was made to believe I was above the rest who would struggle with their studies and grades. I was made to believe I will have better life outcomes because I am good at my academics.

I was discouraged from Sports or any of my other interests. I let go of sports in my 7th grade even though I was one of the fastest athletes in my class and passionate about running. My teachers told to me to spend every free hour studying. I was even assigned to labeled slow students whom I had to teach during our breaks. It is a surprise I managed to stay committed to National Cadet Corps and Karate during those last few years of school when studying was everything. It almost defined if you would be successful in life. "Do you want to be a dud like x?", "Do you want to be failure like y?". These threats worked wonders and many of us studied and forced ourselves to get good grades because we believed our parents and teachers that good academic outcomes would lead to better life outcomes?

Its been 21 years since I left school, with flying colours, ofcourse. I have been in touch with quite a few of my friends from school and many others I know of. The startling revelation has been that nearly all of us, irrespective of our grades, are doing well in our lives. Software engineers, bankers, accountants, architects, doctors, counselors, artists, army personnel, teachers, merchant navy, consultants, pastor and even an odd social worker like me. Are the top graders doing better than the rest? Not the least bit. Are the low performers struggling with life? Not the least bit. Infact, I reckon that if I track down each of my classmates from my batch of 1994, I bet each one of them will be doing reasonably well with life.

Let me also mention that we were not an elite school from any sense of imagination. Our school was as diverse as they come. Daily wage workers, contract labourers, government service professionals, private service professionals and businessmen.

We also didn't get the best education. With 60-70 students in a class and a focus only on academic outcomes, it was not that our teachers focused on each student and managed to build in them a sense of belief and confidence. I remember many of my classmates who began to fall by the wayside in their academics were looked down upon by teachers and peers. Infact, I was discouraged from being friends with some of them because teachers felt that I lose my academic focus under their influence. Seating in classrooms was organized based on academic scores too.

How then, I wonder that all of us had better life outcomes? Maybe, just maybe, there is no correlation between academic outcomes and life outcomes? Are we even willing to challenge this assumption at a time when academic outcomes are increasingly critical in a highly competitive educational environment? In an environment where the government boasts of 100% enrollment in schools and wants each kid to master languages, sciences and mathematics, could we possibly be looking at the problem all wrong? In an environment, where funders believe when more kids stay in school, study well, graduate, go to college, graduate and get a job - are we possibly missing a critical point?  Are we pushing for better and better academic outcomes when that is no strong indicator that it results in better life outcomes?

In my work today. at Dream a Dream, we are working with some of the most vulnerable young people whose academic outcomes are not nearly close to even being average. Over the last 16 years, I have seen school dropouts, poor academic performers, the labeled "duds" and "slow learners" be the most intelligent, sensitive, smart and empathetic individuals and achieve remarkable life outcomes inspite of very poor learning outcomes.

Are we looking at learning all wrong? Are we stuck to an age old system that has long become redundant in the face of a fast changing world? Are we holding onto a system that is the last bastion of a key differentiator between success and failure in a class driven society?

Are we too rigid as a society to change a system that is clearly not working? Stopped working over 2 decades ago if my class is an indicator.

I wonder. 

Eisenhower Fellowship: The Story of The Beginning

It is beautiful how the dots connect and life always has a way to bring you to the place where you seek to be or where you need to be.

The story actually starts in 2007 or atleast that's how far back I can remember it. I am sure it started much before that. An article written about Dream A Dream in a newspaper caught the attention of a person from Confederation of Indian Industry (CII) who wrote to me and invited me to his office for a meeting.

In anticipation for some funding for Dream A Dream, I land up at his office on my rickety Bajaj Chetak scooter and signature business clothes. As I walk into the reception area and ask to meet this gentleman, the secretary is a little perplexed and asks me if I have an appointment with him. I say yes and yet she does not seem to believe me. She goes in and announces my arrival and I am escorted into this very senior and warm gentleman's office. He takes one look at me and looks very confused. He asks, "If I am Vishal Talreja?" just to make sure and I answer in the affirmative suddenly doubtful if I had worn something wrong or had some lunch leftover on my face or clothes.

The gentleman says he was expecting someone much much older than me. Definitely not someone who looked younger than his son. I blush a little and try to make the best impression possible. He listens to me with patience and warmth and I like him very much for giving me this time and listening about my work. 

Anyway, to cut a long story short, I am invited to speak at the CII conference at Bangalore where another gentleman from ITC listens to me and later sends me an invitation to speak at the National Human Resources Development Network (NHRDN) Conference in Kolkata. I agree in prospect of meeting many potential corporate donors at a single platform. A senior person from the ITC office is reaching out to me and taking care of my stay and logistics and it all seems very strange to me. I get an opportunity to stay at the Chairman's guesthouse where the ceiling is as high as two floors and I have a person taking care of all my needs. I feel special and overwhelmed. I speak at the conference and I must have left a deep impression on the organizers and participants. This is 2007 or 2008.

In 2012, I get an email from this senior gentleman from ITC whom I met in 2007/2008 and he invites me to participate in another NHRDN Conference as a panelist to talk about Youth in India. I agree out of deep respect for the hospitality and respect they accorded to me in the earlier conference. 

I sit on this panel with 3 others with much experience and wisdom. I am thinking in my head, "If there is one idea that I can leave this audience of 300 people or one thought that will make them reflect or One opinion that will make them question their view of their world and explore a different view, what would it be?". I believe it could be if they start looking at Youth as Empowered Citizens of this vibrant democracy and active players in shaping our country and world around us. I share my ideas and as I answer questions at the panel, there is a senior gentleman from Aditya Birla Group sitting in the audience and he asks me a question.. 

He says, his biggest concern with young people in India today is that they don't seem to have any fear of anything. In earnest honesty, I answer, the biggest strength that Indian youth have today in this complex and rapidly changing world is that they are fearless and if anything, lets nurture that. 

At the end of the panel, I end end up having lunch with this wonderful gentleman and I enjoy our conversations deeply. As he leaves, he says he would like to nominate me for the Eisenhower Fellowship. Till that moment, I hadn't heard of this fellowship. 

I go back to Bangalore, do some research and it seems like just what I needed at that moment of my personal learning journey. As promised, he sends me an application form and gives me 3 days to complete it since the deadline had just passed but he thought my candidature might be quite strong. I work on this intense application over 3 nights and off it goes. I soon get invited to an Interview with the Eisenhower Fellowship Alumni Network in India and then an interview with a global representative.

And voila, In a month or so, I get a message of selection to the prestigious Eisenhower Fellowship Multi Nation Program for 2013. Their website says, Eisenhower Fellowships identifies, empowers and links outstanding leaders from around the world, helping them to achieve consequential outcomes across sectors and borders. Eisenhower Fellowship provides a transformational experience leading to lifetime engagement in a global network, where dialogue and collaboration make the world more prosperous, just and peaceful.

I didn't understand the true meaning and impact of the above words till now when I have completed my intense 7 weeks in the Fellowship, traveling to over 14 cities in the US, meeting over 85 individuals, all inspiring and insightful and most importantly making 21 friends for life from 20 different countries as my colleagues in the Fellowship.

As they say, our life is a series of dots and when connected it all makes sense and brings you exactly where you were meant to be today. I wonder how the dots of my EF experience will shape my future. I am eager and excited to find out. 

Notes from the Road: Eisenhower Fellowship - Philadelphia and Washington DC

March 30^th until April 26^th 2013, Nearly 4 weeks have past since I have left Bangalore and embarked on this learning journey called the Eisenhower Fellowship Program. I believe my first week in Philadelphia was the best and most transformative so far in the trip. Meeting 22 very inspiring people from 21 different countries and listening to their stories or narratives (as Salvatore would put it) was absolutely awesome. We spoke, we shared, we let ourselves be authentic and vulnerable and in all that we bonded at a very deep level.

Discovering Benjamin Franklin was truly amazing as I learnt that there is no age to participate in nation building. To follow our purpose in life, to serve, to enhance the understanding of our world and to know that we are each capable of doing amazing, amazing things in our lifetime was just inspiring. 

The opening week in Philadelphia gave me hope for the world and inspite on my jetlag, I was driven by passion and inspiration. Then, we went our ways to explore, meet, learn from and with other Americans and in the process to reflect and discover ourselves once again.

As I hear stories from the past few weeks from other Fellows, I have realized, that we have indeed discovered ourselves in more ways than one.  In our anger, in our frustration, in our disturbing questions, in our wow moments, we have discovered more about ourselves than we have ever known. We are exhausted but come alive when we share our stories of insights and discoveries. Mine has been no different.

Washington DC was challenging. My jetlag was kicking in and I was finding it difficult to find my emotional and mental balance. I was finding It difficult to give it my all as I began my quest for answers.  The highlights were meeting with Vipin, Clara and Sachin and spending time with Jerry White. My meetings with Aspen Institute and Mala were insightful and validating. The visit to Anacostia reared its ugly head around racial discrimination and continuing questions of what will it take for us as human beings to learn to live together with respect for our differences.

I learnt,

Our work is actually quite awesome. We have an inspiring story. We have understood and articulated our problem well. The questions I stay with does our story match with the actual delivery of our services and their quality and the ground level. How do we connect with the facilitators more actively. How do we recognize and capture those moments when a child’s soul lights up with a life changing insight. How we make that happen session after session. A deep process of continuous reflection and mentoring of the facilitators is needed. More visits to the sessions. More time with the facilitators. More investment in continuous training. They are key to keep our quality alive and ensure that the story in my head is true to the story on the ground. 

Give me a city I can Trust!

Give me a city I can Trust!

A city where I can walk with freedom
Where I feel safe to walk the streets
Where I am not killed because of my gender
Where I can be fearless and alive

Give me a city I can trust
Where I know I will be taken care of
protected and loved
Where I can trust my fellow humans
and not fear dark corners or shadows in the night

Give me a city I can trust
Where I can play in parks
Breathe clean air
Care for stray dogs and cats
smell the earth
Fly kites and dance in the rain
pluck fruits from trees
and wake up to chirping of birds

Give me a city
Where love, care and empathy
for all humans, creatures and nature
are the basic tenets of society
and we are the care-takers.

Give me a city I can trust
Where I can make friends with strangers and neighbours
without feeling nervous or fearful
Where I get the respect I deserve
for being who I am.

Give me a city
Where I have a say!
Where I can discover and nurture my dreams!
Where I can explore in wonder
the beauty of our world
and feel proud to be a child
born in this city.

I urge you!
Give me a city I want to be born in!

~ An unborn child

A City our Children can Trust

At a Creative Dialogue a few weeks back, I coined a new vision for myself,  “A City our Children can Trust”. As I began thinking about it an inspiring imagery overtook my senses and I began to articulate my vision. What is a city? It is a community defined by a geographical boundary. It is made up of elements of governance, private and common spaces but more importantly it is made up a people who can feel a sense of ownership, pride, responsibility and accountability for this space. In my vision, the city can also be a country and can also be the world we all live in and make together.

Is it really possible for individuals to look beyond me, myself, home, family, work and everything else that we define as my space in our life? I realized it had become possible for me to think of such a vision. If we define this space in the context of the children who become a part of this space in the future, it makes up for a powerful vision of the future.

Who and what do we Trust? Why do we Trust? What comes to our mind when we hear the word Trust? For me, Trust is like a parent’s love – firm, rock solid, unconditional and ever-present. It immediately makes me feel loved and cared for. It is like familiarity. It is something I can come home too. It is a friend’s warm hug and it is a family’s sweet banter. It is where I feel I can go to anytime and all the time. It is assurance and reassurance. It is a space for freedom and expression.

A city our children can trust. What does that mean?

For me, it’s a space. A space where a child can walk and be fearless. A space where a child can walk the streets and still feel secure and protected. It is boundary-less. It is safety – physical, mental and emotional. In every aspect of the city, a child feels love and care.  The roads are clean and pollution free. There are green spaces that live in an awesome interconnectedness with development. There are spaces to play, to jump, to dance, to scream and to sing. A place for freedom!

For me, its people, who are looking after the city as something that they are care-takers of, for their children. 

They are working to make the city work for the children. They don’t own it but they take full accountability for it. It is people for whom the city is as much important as their own homes and they protect and care for it like their own home. There is mutual respect and support for each other. It is people who through values of care, support, empathy, tolerance and humility are true role models of the innate humaneness that is us.

It is a space that engages children as equal stakeholders and treats them as human beings who have a voice and an understanding of what they wish to make of this city. It is space that provides for all children without prejudice – water, food, education, healthcare. It enables children to discover their own dreams and passion and supports them to achieve it. A city that protects children from violence and abuse and upholds all their rights. It is a city that understands and respects the interconnectedness and interdependence of all universe. All creatures living in harmony.

It is a co-created space with leadership from the community and leadership understood as a responsibility, to be treated with honour and to be delivered with service.

A city our children can trust will be a space where we take challenges head-on and solve them as communities where each individual is equally important.

We know, in the current reality, we will be leaving our children a city, a world filled with challenges. Lack of resources like water and food. Spaces that are polluted and spaces that have eaten into the very fabric of human empathy. It is a reality we cannot escape. We have been irresponsible. We will be responsible for pushing our children to fight for survival. We are sowing the seeds of resentment, deceit and violence into our future. It looks bleak.

However, in this city our children can trust, it will not be the maxim of “survival of the fittest” but a maxim of let’s work together to find our solutions. Find solutions that bring us together, that create a supportive caring community. It is a space where survival is not based on wealth but on a shared ethos of love and care.

When a city like Bangalore runs out of water in 5 years, are we going to have our children fight with each other and kill each other to survive or would we like our children to respect every human being and work together to find common innovative solutions for everyone. Can we build a sense of resilience in our children that they will find hope in hopelessness and even in the toughest of times, find a way to keep their innate humaneness alive.

I am reminded of this moral dilemma in Batman when the joker has planted a bomb on two ships. One ship that has all the hardened criminals and other that has the  richest elite from Gotham city. He gives them the ultimate challenge of human empathy. He gives the bomb remotes to each ship for the other ship. The ship that would use the bomb first would stay alive while killing the other. The joker’s belief was that people will kill to survive and stay alive. A sadistic moral dilemma. The people in both ships had their own moral arguments. The rich said, anyway the other ship has hardened criminals, the filth of our city, killing them would only mean we are cleansing the city. No one wants them anyway. The criminals thought this is their opportunity to take revenge of all their hardships. This is their time to take over. Yet, when the clock struck the people in both ships chose not to press the trigger. They chose to appeal to their innate goodness and decided to sacrifice their lives because their humaneness did not allow them to kill the other.

Don’t we see that we, the humans of the present, have become the Joker for our children. We are forcing our children to make such inhumane choices in their future. In the name of economic resources, growth, development, greed, justice we are already making these calls and with each such action, forgetting our very soul of being human.

Will our children press the remote button or reach deep inside their souls to protect, care and support each other. The survival of our city would depend on these complex moral dilemmas. In the city our children can trust, the foundation of dealing with such dilemmas would be the values we impart today – not just as parents and teachers but as communities that make up our city.

Do we have the courage to look beyond ourselves, let go of our need to hoard and control and find our deep sense of love, care and support to build a City that our children can truly Trust! It is in our hands today. It will require us to unlearn everything we have known. Can we? Do we want to?

I believe we can!