It is not often that I travel to Delhi and as with any new place, it throws many new experiences my way. This trip, however, had more than its share of fascinating experiences that has prompted this post.
We stayed at the Sumitra Inn at Safdarjung Enclave, a Bed and Breakfast run by an elderly gentleman who everyone referred to as Uncleji. For some reason, he took a liking to Suchetha and myself and decided to share his experiences and wisdom with us. It was fascinating to hear stories about his marriage, about his wife whom he lost a few years back and about his approach to life. There were many nuggets of wisdom which young people like us sorely need as we take on journeys of togetherness and he was more than willing to share them.
During the early days of marriage, he used to give all his earnings to his wife. His lovely wife requested him that he clear all pending payments and then give her the remaining money. He didn't understand her reasoning for it but after much persistence relented and then one month, paid his bills, cleared his debts and then gave the remaining money to his wife. She then told him that this is the money she now has to run the house and will plan her month accordingly. She had this amazing ability to run the house with whatever money her gave her.
Once, he had to travel to Bangalore on work and wanted to buy a couple of new shirts. When he asked his wife for some money (Rs. 7 in good old days to buy 2 shirts), she flatly refused. He was angry and upset and when on his trip without the new shirts. A few weeks later she gave him the money and he was surprised. He said he didn't need the money or the shirts anymore. His wife explained that in her monthly budget there is no space for additional expenses so she could not give him the money. However, she realized that her husband needs shirts so over the last 2-3 weeks she has saved money little by little and now has the money to give him. He realized that day that his wife would always take good care of the family's needs and trusted all her decisions.
His eyes welled up when he spoke about his wife and we felt deeply moved by his love for his wife in whose memory he put up this Bed and Breakfast so he could continue to live a full life, feel grateful to have her in his life and meet new and interesting people.
Uncleji was deeply committed to service and playing an active role in the community. He helped setup the Arya Samaj centre in the neighbourhood where amongst other things they run a free dispensary for the poor and also get poor people married. During his youth, working at a public sector company, he shared many stories of selfless service. Once, when riding his scooter home, he passed by a construction site where a young lady was trying to take a break to feed her new born child. Her employer was shouting at her for wasting her time. He stopped his bike, went upto the contractor and told him that he will do the work while the mother can feed her child. He told the mother to take her time and filled in for her.
Another time, when he was driving his car, he saw a van ahead of him carrying pots. The pots fell on the road, broke and created a mess. He stopped his car and decided to remove all the broken parts from the road and put them on the side. While people honked and shouted at him, no one stopped to help him. He knew that once he cleared the road, it will ease the traffic and not cause any accidents. In the process, he cut his hand but didn't realize it.
We heard him complain about the growing anger and unrest amongst the people, the failure of the government and at the same time recognize the goodness in people. He belief in being good always and helping where he can and his experience of having understanding and tolerance in a relationship made him very endearing. Recognizing that he came from a patriarchal society, he admonished child marriage, dowry system and did not believe that girls are any inferior to men.
Uncleji gave us a gift of his wisdom and experience and we were grateful that Uncleji came into our lives, even if briefly. I have always believed that people come into our lives for a reason and we might not know that reason then but someday the dots will connect.
Meeting and spending those fleeting moments with Uncleji were definitely a highlight of our time in Delhi.
We stayed at the Sumitra Inn at Safdarjung Enclave, a Bed and Breakfast run by an elderly gentleman who everyone referred to as Uncleji. For some reason, he took a liking to Suchetha and myself and decided to share his experiences and wisdom with us. It was fascinating to hear stories about his marriage, about his wife whom he lost a few years back and about his approach to life. There were many nuggets of wisdom which young people like us sorely need as we take on journeys of togetherness and he was more than willing to share them.
During the early days of marriage, he used to give all his earnings to his wife. His lovely wife requested him that he clear all pending payments and then give her the remaining money. He didn't understand her reasoning for it but after much persistence relented and then one month, paid his bills, cleared his debts and then gave the remaining money to his wife. She then told him that this is the money she now has to run the house and will plan her month accordingly. She had this amazing ability to run the house with whatever money her gave her.
Once, he had to travel to Bangalore on work and wanted to buy a couple of new shirts. When he asked his wife for some money (Rs. 7 in good old days to buy 2 shirts), she flatly refused. He was angry and upset and when on his trip without the new shirts. A few weeks later she gave him the money and he was surprised. He said he didn't need the money or the shirts anymore. His wife explained that in her monthly budget there is no space for additional expenses so she could not give him the money. However, she realized that her husband needs shirts so over the last 2-3 weeks she has saved money little by little and now has the money to give him. He realized that day that his wife would always take good care of the family's needs and trusted all her decisions.
His eyes welled up when he spoke about his wife and we felt deeply moved by his love for his wife in whose memory he put up this Bed and Breakfast so he could continue to live a full life, feel grateful to have her in his life and meet new and interesting people.
Uncleji was deeply committed to service and playing an active role in the community. He helped setup the Arya Samaj centre in the neighbourhood where amongst other things they run a free dispensary for the poor and also get poor people married. During his youth, working at a public sector company, he shared many stories of selfless service. Once, when riding his scooter home, he passed by a construction site where a young lady was trying to take a break to feed her new born child. Her employer was shouting at her for wasting her time. He stopped his bike, went upto the contractor and told him that he will do the work while the mother can feed her child. He told the mother to take her time and filled in for her.
Another time, when he was driving his car, he saw a van ahead of him carrying pots. The pots fell on the road, broke and created a mess. He stopped his car and decided to remove all the broken parts from the road and put them on the side. While people honked and shouted at him, no one stopped to help him. He knew that once he cleared the road, it will ease the traffic and not cause any accidents. In the process, he cut his hand but didn't realize it.
We heard him complain about the growing anger and unrest amongst the people, the failure of the government and at the same time recognize the goodness in people. He belief in being good always and helping where he can and his experience of having understanding and tolerance in a relationship made him very endearing. Recognizing that he came from a patriarchal society, he admonished child marriage, dowry system and did not believe that girls are any inferior to men.
Uncleji gave us a gift of his wisdom and experience and we were grateful that Uncleji came into our lives, even if briefly. I have always believed that people come into our lives for a reason and we might not know that reason then but someday the dots will connect.
Meeting and spending those fleeting moments with Uncleji were definitely a highlight of our time in Delhi.
2 comments:
Vishal,Have never met you ,but that does not matter.What matters is I am staying with Babuji(you refer as uncleji) for almost 4 years and could not have agreed more with you...NIkhil Madgavkar
Thank you Vishal for allowing us a glimpse of uncleji's life! Life that he enjoys and that you reflected upon! He's indeed a wonderful person....I say this as I know him! His purpose in life is to attain joy of deliverance! He"s fortunate that he knows his purpose in life and is focused in achieving it. We shall take inspiration from him(all elders)....Thank you for sharing your experience...Uncleji's will be glad to know he did not waste your and his time :)....
Roona Kriplani
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