Children are an inspiration world over

The US Department of State, US Consulate, last year selected me for an International Visitor Leadership Programme, a sponsored programme in the area of "NGO Management of Youth Programmes". Me and 10 other people running NGOs in India, Bangladesh, Nepal, Afghanistan and Pakistan are part of the programme. The programme aims to provide us a detailed exposure to the working of the US Government and its various departments, meeting NGOs offering programmes in Youth Development and a wholesome Cultural Experience.

Since July 2nd (when I landed in Washington DC), It has been a truly enriching and inspiring experience and there has been so much learning that I would have to actually write a book to capture everything. In a nutshell, I will share a few experience from the Dream A Dream perspective.

Youth Mapping, an organization that works with youth from vulnerable communities and involves them in community surveys. In the process building life skills in them. An inspiring project that can be integrated with our Dream Catchers programme. can you imagine, they use the unemployed youth to do surveys and find solutions to their neighbourhood problems..its a live project and in the process the youth pick up skills that will help them find excellent jobs.

Girls and Boys Club - A club working to do after school activities for children from poor communities. I saw the Dream Home in reality here. Played a game of connect with a bunch of very smart 5 yr black kids. Interacted and answered questions of some teenage children about children in India, problems of education, poverty, drug abuse and work of NGOs. Came out from the meeting, sharing my autograph with the kids and they promising to write a letter to the kids we work with India and maybe next year, doing a joint exchange programme. The possibilities are absolutely limitless.

Met Mr. Samuel Harpin, a veteran working on American Youth Policy. it was just an totally mesmerising experience to hear this veteran of over 35 years of experience and his work with the youth in the US. They have done such extensive research on the needs and aspirations of youth and created some brilliant life skills programmes. He was most willing to share all the programmes / manuals and curriculum with us and that's believe me a wealth of knowledge that we can tap into to improve our own Livelihood Programme.

Met an NGO called Special Olympics which are doing some ground-breaking work in including people with disabilities in sports. it was interesting to see how they have developed their donor database, nurtured it and built it over the years. They are present in more than 150 countries today supporting sports for people with disabilities. The lady promised to connect me with a few grant making organizations.

YES - Youth Exchange and Study programme that brings in young people from different countries to come and study for a year in the US completely sponsored by the government. Imagine the wealth of opportunities this could open out for some of the children because most children they sponsor come from vulnerable backgrounds..

All the above and more meetings were in Washington DC. Then, we moved to Tulsa, a small city in the state of Oklahoma in Central America and this has been the best part of my trip so far since I got a chance to actually meet and interact with young people.

Met Ms. Lynda Endres, a woman with a infectious passion in building volunteers for the Tulsa city community projects and guess what, these volunteers are children. They run a programme called Kids in Action for children under the age of 14 years who wish to volunteer and guess what, there are hundreds of children below 14 who are interested in volunteering. Met a 11 year old Noah who started volunteering at a Food Bank after he saw an ad of TV about a lot of hungry people. He was not allowed to volunteer because of his young age but he fought the system and he today runs an independent kids programme - kids who collect and donate food to the food Bank. A young girl called Tiffany who in her early teens saw that many poor children did not get a chance to go to their school prom because they could not afford new dresses, so she start an organization called prom wishes, where she collected old prom clothes, got sponsors to donate prom dresses and gave it to young children so that they could go for a prom, A very thoughtful initiative that has become a registered orgn. today which not only supplies dresses but also counsels / trains young teens about safe sex / abstinence / drunken driving / drug abuse which are common at a prom party...I mean this is such a brilliant medium...again great ideas and stories to make our dream catchers programme real strong...Lynda summed up the meeting saying...If just the adults to get out of the way of the children, children can change the world...Lynda has promised to mentor me develop this programme further, share all her resources and systems and also some of her passion :))))

met the Islamic Society of Tulsa - a ground breaking organization that is building bridges, interaction and tolerance among the youth for diverse religious communities..through camps, visits to places of worship and community talks..I could see they had done some remarkable work in they they spoke about their achievements and in the way the diverse communities have just come together and are living in harmony. A lot that we in India can learn from them about how the Muslims, Sikhs, Hindus, Christians and natives are coming together to make Tulsa a safe place to live in and for their children to grow up in. Its such an inspiring community initiative.

lastly today, we met a daily newspaper called Tulsa World. They are doing a phenomenal project whereby they get teenagers from high school to actually come out with a weekly supplement in their main paper. In over two hours of interacting with 4 15 year old..I was inspired by their ideas to change the world, to make young people in the US more proactive and interested in their communities. The girls write about problems and issues of teens and in the process have helped change a lot of attitudes of their parents. its awesome what such a simple idea can do and guess what they have over 80 school students volunteering to work in the paper at any given time...it just goes to show how many different ways there really exist to build skills among the youth and empower them. I hope Times of India is listening...

Its been a really long day today..but my mind is whirring with all the learning and I am so convinced that what we are trying to achieve at Dream A Dream is phenomenal and we should just keep doing it and do it right...

I will keep you people posted as I have another 10 days of meetings and inspiring experiences lined up. If you wish to read more about some of my cultural experiences...you can take a look at my blog...http://illusionsandironies.blogspot.com/

This international experience has become a life changing experience in my journey of life and I come back with a renewed rigour and passion to continue to weave dreams for millions of children. I need your support in this endeavour...so keep volunteering!!!

It is in our hands!

Lingamma and Meha, two 3-year olds who have been brightening up my mornings for more than a week now. Meha stands at the balcony and Lingamma stands at the mud mound below; every morning soaking in the colours, sounds and people of the morning. Both of them with sparkling wide eyes, full of life and excitement. Both of them fresh from the dreamy sleep of the night, talking a language of their own with the world.

Meha loves to shout out to the world – be it the vegetable vendor, the cars, the bikes and the occasional passerby – Ahoy! Ahoy! She goes in a language that none understand but everyone responds. She watches her grand-dad water the plants and is fascinated by the water forming a pool around her legs and making a waterfall from the drain-pipe on the balcony. She runs in and out of her house – happy and carefree.

Lingamma gets her bath by the roadside; cold and refreshing given to her by her 5-yr old sister. She splashes water around, wears her clothes of yesterday all excited that it’s her favourite frock. Sits on a granite slab and shares a meal with her 2-yr old brother and then starts her daily adventure by running up and down the small lane with speeding vehicles. She is careful though, her instincts to stay safe, alive and kicking protecting her. She rolls over the mud mound, picks up things that fascinate her from the road, throws them around and watches with amazement as the morning birds, insects and people move around.

Two very beautiful, happy, carefree and lovely children brighten up my day. One from the house from across my house another from the construction site next to my house.

Meha would possibly go to a good school, heavy school-bags, pressure of performance, make friends and have a normal development. Lingamma would probably move from one construction site to another, miss school, and make friends with other kids at construction sites.

I wonder how life would differ or be similar for these two lovely kids. I wonder what life has in store for them.

I wonder when kids in India would have a carefree, happy development with their Rights to Survival, Protection, Development and Participation held and met in equal measure without prejudice. It’s after all in our hands!!!

Seven Sisters Primary School

I visited the Seven Sisters Primary School, a government supported school but unique in its own way because it embraced and opened its arms for children from all nationalities, religions and ethnicity. I got the opportunity and privilege to visit the school through an other friend who was going to do a story-telling project with 9-year olds at the school.

The first thing that hit me when I entered the school was the variety of colours of humans / children that I saw. Smiling blacks, browns and whites :). I was surprised to see that no one was surprised to see me - a brown coloured Indian for lack of a better term.

The second thing that hit me was how close the school looked to my Dream Home. Colourful classes, wide benches, trees, graffiti, playgrounds, art rooms, etc. Oh! In my life-time, I want as many Dream Homes for children as the number of years left in my life.

The children were from all over the world - Indian, Pakistanis, Bangladeshis, Iranian, from Mauritius, Africa, and from UK too. They spoke lovely english and were very intelligent. The story was long and in parts difficult and boring. Over 12 pages long, even I dozed off for 10 Mins but the children participated actively in the discussion afterwards and came up with some really smart comments on the story. The children were enthusiastic and did not hesitate to speak up, to share their opinions, to agree or disagree. I saw some lovely life skills at work. The most beautiful aspect was that they were not conscious that each of them came from different backgrounds, countries and cultures. It was truly diversity at work.

Such an entralling experience it was to be surrounded by children from such diverse abckgrounds and all under one roof. I wish the larger world outside could become like that.

I walked away trying to remember 20 names but managed just a few - Akram, Natasha, Gorken, Ridwan, Manya, Jodie. All ,ovely children who in that 2 hours taught me about love, togetherness and life skills. I came away more certain than ever, that the Dream Home will happen.

Immigration Challenges in UK

22:54 Hours, Hotel Park Plaza, Leeds, UK - I am at the 15th floor room of my Hotel at Park Plaza in Leeds and the city looks splurged with lights from its buildings - like stars of all hues have descended on this lovely city. The view is spectacular and quiet tonight. Last night was a riot as the whole town was on the streets because of a Holiday today. But, today it is quite and the slight chill adds to the eerie quietness.

BBC1 just concluded a thought-provoking documentary on emigration profiling two polish people who emigrated for work and better oportunities to England. Against the backdrop of some soulful polist music their stories unraveled the pain, suffering and loneliness of the hundreds emigrants that i have come across in my few days here - asians, east europeans, africans, caribbeans. I see the same loneliness, the blank looks and the sadness in their faces as they work their way in restaurants, stores, super-markets and bars.

I just got back from a lovely cuban dinner of Tapas at Cuba Viva and the young, drop-dead gorgeous lady serving us was having a bad day at work. She tried to explain in her highly accented polish english that she was not supposed to come in today but had to and she is new here, so having difficulty understanding the northern accent, etc. I just wanted to get up and hug her and tell her she was doing just fine and was being a good waiter. I didn't.

After that unsettling experience at Cuba Viva, watching the documentary helped me make sense of the loneliness, frustration and anxiety possibly felt by many emigrants in this developed country.

Challenges of low wages, unorganized sector, having to do many jobs to make ends meet, not having a family, having to move from city to city to seek stable jobs and struggling with language, stress and sometimes even crime and abuse - it must indeed be tough on many emigrants.

I dont have solutions but I know something can be done and I let this entry remain unfinished as my thoughts lingers on some possible solutions.

Making a Difference

"I want to make a difference!", said my friend today when I asked her what is she passionate about. The sentence resonated with me and took me back a few years when as a young 21-year old, the same statement burnt like a undying flame in my heart. "I want to make a difference!" and suddenly it all became very clear to me.

Making a difference happens in the small everyday things and moments of our life and not it a larger than life goals with set for ourselves. Making a difference happens when that person also leaves a deep positive impact on us. hence, its always an exchange of equals and it is always a barter of giving and receiving at both ends.

As I shared these thoughts with my friend, they rang loud and clear in my head and I had suddenly articulated a thought that had been in my head for long. I felt alive and rejuvenated. The beauty of this statement that had defined my passion and my friend's too dawned on me.I looked at all the moments when a person makes a difference in my life and I in theirs. The gentleman who comes to serve tea/coffee to our office. His smile, his eccentricities, his "Good Morning Sir" brightens up my day and makes a difference to my life. The acknolwedgement, love and warmth that he gets in our office makes a difference to his life.

I make a difference when I smile at a stranger on road, sometimes leaving him with a weird quizzical look but I am sure his heart is smiling for connecting with mine. Sometimes when I get a smile back, oh wow - it makes my day.

Discovering USA - 1st November to 1st December 2010

30 days. 1^st November to 1^st December. What a trip it has been. It was a rush when I started the trip and it took every ounce of my energy and sought every spare bead of motivation I have ever had in me. It demanded the very best from me at all times and pushed me to my mental, physical and emotional limits. Landed in Cleveland after a gruelling 24 hour journey and without even time to overcome my jetlag, I was all set for my first set of meetings with a Prof. From a college and a presentation to a group of 10-14 years at a local school. Wow! That's a beginning I thought. Next, College of Wooster – A beautiful college set in the small town of Wooster, meetings with professors, classes, networking with the administration, public talks, and dinners and finally ending up with a lunch with the BIG People of Cleveland. Managed to even squeeze in a quick tour of the college, watching a field hockey game, doing a ropes course and even going to the Village of the very weirdly popular Amish. Prof. Moledina deserves a big thank you for getting me to the US and ensuring I managed to start my trip with a Bang! 

A weekend in Milwaukee with lovely friends, which involved just a whole lot of driving to Chicago and everywhere else, getting introduced to WII and Netflix and off I was to Boston. Boston – My favourite city no doubt and Arjun Dugal had set the stage for me. Meetings, lots of them, Talks – quite a few of them, even a session for a class at Harvard and a very successful Dream Evening to moot. Interspersed with a night of clubbing until the wee hours of morning, I knew I was pushing my limits. The large fundraising Gala was an eye-opener with the wealth that existed in the Indian Diaspora and also reflections on the "Dance of the Wealth" – Why the wealthy give only when they spend a lot and a lot more to raise that money. The homeless on the streets surprised me, wanted to talk to each of them and come up with an idea to get them off the streets. The public libraries amused me as they were mostly filled with the homeless escaping the bitter cold outside and getting some warm place to sleep. I wondered if a country like America even deserved the homeless on the streets and wondered how societies across the world continue to be insensitive to the needs of their own communities in their backyards. A panel discussion on Startup Leadership had me standing alone on the ethics of entrepreneurial ventures amidst talks of VC funding, buy-outs, becoming millionaires and finding cofounders through a scientific formula connected to valuations. I sat there, wondering whatever happened to trusting someone to start something new with you, whatever happened to the love for a new idea, for solving a problem, for creating a world-class business, for creating a legacy. Whatever happened to the "Pursuit of Greatness" that prompted great human beings to embark on risky businesses staking their all? 

Spending time with Year Up, Peace First, and Big Brother-Big Sister Program was a validation of the depth of quality and thought that we had in our work with children. 5 years back when I attempted to meet BBBS, we were too small for them and they didn't want to meet us. This time around, they wanted to learn from us and this was validation of the work we have put in to make our programs truly world-class. Year-up was a program that spoke to me from the heart, it had DreamConnect all over it and I believed this is the program that the youth in India strongly needed and needed fast. 

I was truly humbled by the support that Arjun, Neha, Aman, Karina, Aamir, Mike gave – from helping me build connections, helping me meet people and for just looking out for me and ensuring I was well taken care of. Especially Arjun and Neha, who worked all day and spent all evening coming for meetings with me, discussing ideas with me, giving me strategies and also making me smile. I remember Arjun and myself walking out of the Harvard class and while we were both physically very tired, there was a jump in our step, a pride in our gait and as we looked at each other we smiled and acknowledged the journey that we have embarked upon with 10 others and where that journey had taken our dream. We felt proud, happy and content. We graciously accepted each other's acknowledgement. 
I have to mention Raj Melville – The man, the connector – He sent out nearly 20-25 emails introducing me to people all over the US and getting me meetings from anyone to everyone. He reached out and told me, you are doing well, keep doing it and we will stand by you. 

I was still reeling under the after-effects of Boston and DC hit me with a vengeance. The people in DC were all out to prove to me that DC can do better than Boston and they came very very close to beating Boston. A Brown Bag at Global Giving, Global Fund for Children and Ashoka was all that was needed to get me going again. Starting at 6 am, my first day in DC went on till 1 am and that set the trend for the rest of the week. A panel discussion with 2 other Ashoka Fellows for the staff of Ashoka was enough to send me on a nostalgic, emotionally charged, reflective journey of my life as a leader, as an individual and as a social entrepreneur. The panel had a 32-year old me, a 40-year old and a 50-year old and what fascinated me was how our journeys have been so similar and how uncannily we had to meet today, now when we were going through the same reflections and questions with our inner self. 

Another super successful Dream Evening thanks to Raj and Smita Trivedi who went out of their way to make it happen for Dream A Dream in less than a week. It was phenomenal to see how people would turn up at the end of a busy work-day just because they believed, they wanted to help and support. What's more, I also ran into an old-timer from Dream A Dream and suddenly felt very much at home with her support by my side. DC would not have happened without the support of Raj and Smita, my angels and Roshan who so graciously gave me his place to stay and Usha – a very special person who I connected with on Food, Travel and community work. When she was keen to show me the sights of DC, I told her – I want to understand why there is poverty here and what is one doing to change things. She took me to a Central Kitchen where families come to feed the poor and homeless. Good, cooked, healthy food. Families serve the homeless and also sit with them; children included, and eat the same food. While, I was humbled with seeing this sensitivity, I came away very disturbed thinking, If I ever had to beg for good, live on the streets, eat from a central kitchen – would I be able to? Is there dignity in poverty? Do we continue to let poverty exist and thrive so we can feel important and worthy about ourselves? 

DC was also a place for some old connections, meeting an old-time Dream A Dream volunteer, reconnecting with Ashoka and its inspiring staff, meeting an old school-mate whom I had not met for 16 years and reconnecting with old friends from the US. Food was big on the agenda in DC as I tried Ethiopian, experimented with Japanese and Chinese new cuisine, Spanish tapas and Sangria and the super traditional American Chilli Hot Dog and finally finishing off with a traditional all American brunch. Managed to capture an interactive play called "Shear Madness" at the renowned Kennedy Center before I dashed off the San Jose on the West Coast.

San Jose was completely unlike DC or Boston, a small town set amidst mountains in a beautiful valley; it was stunningly beautiful but completely inaccessible without your own transport. Guneet Singh Bedi was my knight in shining armour taking me to all my meetings and being the man-Friday ensuring it was worth my while to have travelled thousands of miles. He went out of his way to again open doors for me with interested companies, individuals, and also a talk at Berkeley. This was interspersed with meeting an old AIESEC friend and her lovely 2-month old bundle of joy, meeting old Dream A Dream volunteers, spending the thanksgiving evening at the only open Indian restaurant and staying up all night for the infamously popular Black Friday sale after Thanksgiving. I had also come to my journey's end and also my strength was giving way. The sense of wanting to be back in India amongst friends, colleagues and family was creeping in, the overbearing realization that the work has just started and I need to very quickly follow-up on all my meetings to ensure we don't lose the momentum and that there was a lot I had to remember about my trip was completely over-whelming me. I forgot to call a few people I was supposed to meet, I forgot a scheduled meeting and I was sleeping less and less. Guneet came to my rescue with some amazing drives in his classic convertible and a day spent amongst wineyards at the very stunning Napa Valley trying out different kinds of wines. It helped me relax my senses and let go for a day. 

It was time to go back. But, not yet. My last leg was supposed to be a winding down 3-days with friends and family at Milwaukee and Chicago. Ended up being super hectic with catching up on work from India and more meetings at Chicago. A visit to Kellog School of Management for a potential partnership and a final push presentation at Asha, Chicago is all that my soul could take and I was done!! Catching with a Dream A Dream first employee - a very dear personal friend and an inspiring colleague; spending time with cousins and their adorable 4 yr old was just what the doctor had ordered to ensure I survive the last 2 days. 
The trip has been that of a breakneck speed juggernaut, of not letting go of opportunities, of reaching out to people, of sharing a dream – a million times over and of going back to believing in what I have always believed in. People across the world are wonderful and want to help; all it takes is to reach out with honesty and with your heart. 

It has been a tough one-month but I feel blessed that even across the seas, there are people who believe in what we do, who believe in us and who really want to reach out in their own ways – small and big. My body feels battered, my mind is numb but my spirit seems rekindled with the "Power of One"! Sometimes, when I have felt empty inside or lonely, I look back at the people who have being with me through this whole month and I don't feel alone again. 

I feel blessed! Thank you all who made this happen.

Honour

Call me an Idealistic fool or a Naïve person but words like Honour and Commitment to one's word are values I grew up with and values that I chose to embrace. As I child, of all the values that were presented to me, a few stuck more than others and Honour was one of them. I remember my Grandmother telling me stories of my Grandfather that for him, Honour and keeping his word were more paramount even at the expense of great personal sacrifice to him. More recently I remember my dad sharing with me stories of his dad and how he honoured every commitment he made. Even in difficult times, he would skip a meal but keep his commitment to a debtor or a poor man he fed or a poor family he supported.

Of all the values that life offered me, I was drawn towards the stories of people who lived their life on the commitments they made, in most cases verbal and that was enough.

As I reconcile to the decision we took yesterday, I do so with a very deep sense of pain and loss that I did not stand by my values and that I let me values down. I kept thinking of an intelligent reason to make the decision work for me. However, the only reason that still remains is that I would like to honour my commitments. I am deeply pained that Honour was  chosen to be important if it was a donor but not important if its a consultant and I wonder if Honour can be discriminated based on who it is for. I wonder how a consultant, also a human being, is not an important enough person to  honour our commitment to but a donor is. I wonder how we chose to differentiate?

With a deep sense of pain, I accept this decision because most important of all I did not chose to stand by my values. For 14 years, the organization and me have not been separate and I realize that they never will be because we have each shaped the other and our values have been deeply intertwined. To be told now that I am naïve to mix my personal values and equations with the organization is being naïve is new, confusing and disrupting to me. In the objective world, it is probably right but in my world, my personal has always been my political.

I accept the decision because I failed to stand for myself. I failed to just say that it has been because of my personal values and my personal approach to building an organization that both me and this organization stand tall today. The world might accuse me of any flaws but can never accuse me of having values different from the organization or vice-versa.

I wonder when I will find the strength to stand for what I believe. I wonder if words/commitments have no meaning in this world anymore. I wonder if values can be distinguished between the rich, so called important donor and a not so important consultant - that one becomes more important in our exercise of honour and the other doesn't (that we can pay off someone's deep sense of commitment to the cause as a not so important effort). I wonder if I will ever find the courage to stand for and break this dual value system in my world or if I will be a perpetual failure.

I don't think I will ever be able to give my word to anyone ever again.

Moved my Poetry to a New Blog

Hi Friends,

I have decided to move my poetry and keep it in a new blog - http://mysoulstirring.blogspot.in/. Do follow me there.

Thank you,
Vishal

Redemption, Seeking my Forgiveness

I didn't do much when I first heard the brutality
I didn't join the protests
Neither did I sign petitions.
I prayed for strength to help you get through
I watched in disbelief as the politics unfolded
I went into a shell when friends spoke about it.

I shivered and shuddered at the gory details
shared in magazines and newspapers.
I tried to imagine how horrifying it must have been
to go through that night
but it was too painful
just to imagine and I left it there

I felt raw anger at the perpetrators
On many nights, I imagined buying a gun
and shooting them down
just to release my own pain.

I felt guilty
I knew I had failed you
I knew I was as guilty
just as the four who committed the crime
I didn't know how to forgive me
living in my own guilt
day in and day out

Today when my loving girlfriend
drives home late
I am on tenterhooks
till she reaches home safe
I know I have imagined
following her home
just to be sure
she is safe

My world has changed
as your world changed
Yours more brutally
mine more subtly
Change it indeed has.

The verdict was passed yesterday.
They got a punished
Arguably not enough by many
One got a lot less
He happened to be a few months
younger than an adult.
I saw their pictures.
I looked into their eyes
I saw the brutality
I felt a shiver down my spine
as I imagined
how innocent their faces looked
and how brutal their intentions were.

Yet,
I search for the child.
The child that lives
Inside each of them

The child
with a smile to melt a heart
taking their first baby steps
the chuckle
the gibberish as they learnt to speak
the twinkle in their eye
when they discovered the world
the curiosity with which
they embraced the world
the laughter, the chitter-chatter
the hugs and their selfless love.

I saw my 2-year old nephew in them
the confident and wavering first steps
the curiosity to take on life
the fascination with everything new
the obsession with learning, absorbing, soaking in the world.

I wonder when that innocence was taken away
Why that innocence was taken away
Was it the rejection, the neglect, the abuse?
Was it the beatings, the admonitions, the environment?
Where did love replace so much hatred
When did love replace so much hatred
Was there love ever?

I am aching to feel, to understand
their first seed of hatred,
the brutality that took over the sparkle,
the abuse that took over the twinkle,
the beatings that replaced the love.

I hear that child cry
incessantly and infinitely
helpless and hopeless
I see that child die
the day their brutality overtook them
The child cries for help
Is anyone listening?

Words fail me
I attempt to weave their life
meet their innocent child
meet them at that place in their life
where hatred met them
and show them the path of love
I so wish I was there when they made the choice
I so wish I could show them the path of love

I know the child wanted it
the child craved for it
the child needed it
yet we failed.

We failed you
We failed that child living inside each of them
We failed your faith in humanity

I make a promise
Not of justice
but of commitment
to reach children like the four
and fill their life with love
weed out their brutality
Ensure it never makes home again in their innocent heart.

I will
tirelessly
bring love
into the life
of every child
that I possibly can

In that
Nirbhaya
I may find
my forgiveness.

The many hues of Delhi. 11 Aug - 16 Aug 2013

Travel to any new city comes with its share of experiences, funny incidents and adventures and a visit to Delhi last week was no different.

There was falling ill with the infamous Delhi Belly over the famous roadside Gol Gappas. The adventurous late night trip to Karim's at Nizamuddin to try their signature meat preparations and then having to call a cab because friends were worried that we weren't being cautious enough. The thousands of multi-coloured kites donning the skies on Independence Day while young and old took processions in their neighbourhood shouting the same old slogans of Freedom and Independence.

The conscious decision to not spend Independence Day at Red Fort but to be on the streets to capture the flavour of the locals. The blaring bollywood music with item numbers at Khan Market, biting into the Kakori Kabab at Khan Chacha inspite of the Delhi Belly and listening to comparisons with speeches made by PM and a particular CM made up our day. Fights over flag hoisting, slogans against out neighbouring country and watching a man go about his day of labour was the Independence I saw.

Being stupid enough to leave my debit card in the ATM Machine and thanks to the system of messaging my transactions, watching some of my wealth erode as a good Samaritan decided to use my debit card to buy chocolates and gifts before I could block it.

Spending a day in the notorious Delhi rains traveling from Faridabad to Connaught Place to JNU to Airport with a fascinating and very talkative cab driver from Rajasthan, Shiva. He started off complaining about the rain and how he has to take a passenger on a rainy day when all of Delhi roads are jammed and flooded to insisting on having coffee with me at Costa.

This turned out to be the most fascinating part of my day as he shared with me his story, his childhood, his dreams and how we got to where he was in life. Born in a Rajasthani Family, he didn't enjoy school because he found it difficult to understand what the teacher was saying, got into bad company and dropped out of school. Ran away from home to prove that he can be on his own and will come back only when he has done something concrete with his life. Met a mechanic younger than him who tool him in and taught him the trade and also taught him many a life lesson. He then asked him to leave and he has never met his Guru (teacher) ever since. He has gone looking for him but his Guru is nowhere to be found. That experience changed his life and he decided to reconnect with his family, get married and started working as a cab driver. He has no children of his own but has taken on the responsibility to take care of his brother's children as his own. He believes he wants to make the children skilled and talented and that will help them make the right choices in life. He believes education is needed but its not the most critical, skill is a bigger need.

He shared his views on politicians and the government and the general sense of anger, unrest and apathy that people have towards the government. His cynicism that nothing will change and it will just get worse for the poor people was disturbing and also telling of the sentiments of a population that has been betrayed a little too much and too often.

Catching up with many friends and missing some others, spending time being inspired by the finalists at the India NGO Awards 2012-13 and spending quality time with Suchetha as we shared our life together made our trip to Delhi a memorable one.

The many hues of Delhi: Uncleji at Sumitra Inn

It is not often that I travel to Delhi and as with any new place, it throws many new experiences my way. This trip, however, had more than its share of fascinating experiences that has prompted this post.

We stayed at the Sumitra Inn at Safdarjung Enclave, a Bed and Breakfast run by an elderly gentleman who everyone referred to as Uncleji. For some reason, he took a liking to Suchetha and myself and decided to share his experiences and wisdom with us. It was fascinating to hear stories about his marriage, about his wife whom he lost a few years back and about his approach to life. There were many nuggets of wisdom which young people like us sorely need as we take on journeys of togetherness and he was more than willing to share them.

During the early days of marriage, he used to give all his earnings to his wife. His lovely wife requested him that he clear all pending payments and then give her the remaining money. He didn't understand her reasoning for it but after much persistence relented and then one month, paid his bills, cleared his debts and then gave the remaining money to his wife. She then told him that this is the money she now has to run the house and will plan her month accordingly. She had this amazing ability to run the house with whatever money her gave her.

Once, he had to travel to Bangalore on work and wanted to buy a couple of new shirts. When he asked his wife for some money (Rs. 7 in good old days to buy 2 shirts), she flatly refused. He was angry and upset and when on his trip without the new shirts. A few weeks later she gave him the money and he was surprised. He said he didn't need the money or the shirts anymore. His wife explained that in her monthly budget there is no space for additional expenses so she could not give him the money. However, she realized that her husband needs shirts so over the last 2-3 weeks she has saved money little by little and now has the money to give him. He realized that day that his wife would always take good care of the family's needs and trusted all her decisions.

His eyes welled up when he spoke about his wife and we felt deeply moved by his love for his wife in whose memory he put up this Bed and Breakfast so he could continue to live a full life, feel grateful to have her in his life and meet new and interesting people.

Uncleji was deeply committed to service and playing an active role in the community. He helped setup the Arya Samaj centre in the neighbourhood where amongst other things they run a free dispensary for the poor and also get poor people married. During his youth, working at a public sector company, he shared many stories of selfless service. Once, when riding his scooter home, he passed by a construction site where a young lady was trying to take a break to feed her new born child. Her employer was shouting at her for wasting her time. He stopped his bike, went upto the contractor and told him that he will do the work while the mother can feed her child. He told the mother to take her time and filled in for her.

Another time, when he was driving his car, he saw a van ahead of him carrying pots. The pots fell on the road, broke and created a mess. He stopped his car and decided to remove all the broken parts from the road and put them on the side. While people honked and shouted at him, no one stopped to help him. He knew that once he cleared the road, it will ease the traffic and not cause any accidents. In the process, he cut his hand but didn't realize it.

We heard him complain about the growing anger and unrest amongst the people, the failure of the government and at the same time recognize the goodness in people. He belief in being good always and helping where he can and his experience of having understanding and tolerance in a relationship made him very endearing. Recognizing that he came from a patriarchal society, he admonished child marriage, dowry system and did not believe that girls are any inferior to men.

Uncleji gave us a gift of his wisdom and experience and we were grateful that Uncleji came into our lives, even if briefly. I have always believed that people come into our lives for a reason and we might not know that reason then but someday the dots will connect.

Meeting and spending those fleeting moments with Uncleji were definitely a highlight of our time in Delhi. 

Navajo Nation - Caught in a Time Wrap and Keeper of Wisdom?

It's 2.27 am on Thursday, 13th June and I am restless and wide awake. I watch my city sleep as darkness has completely engulfed it. Dogs bark in a distant and there is a cold nip in the air. I am taken back in time to my visit to the Navajo Nation, a sovereign country in the United States. I visited the country and interacted with people as part of my Eisenhower Fellowship Programme. I remember coming away more disturbed than hopeful, more angry than optimistic.

You can read more about this fascinating sovereign country at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Navajo_Nation. It is a Nation within a Nation. It considers itself sovereign and free to rule itself but it appeared more like a prison within the larger nation called United States of America.

It's recent history is filled with memories of injustice and trauma that people are still struggling to move on from. In my interactions with local council members, teachers, exchange visitor officer and a marketing officer at a Casino, my eyes welled up a little too often at the kind and level of atrocities committed on them and their parents in the not too distant past.

Less than 30 years back, there was a rule to send every child to a Boarding School to learn English so that they can become civilized. It was a conscious process to ensure the following generations did not know or understand their native cultures and embraced the modern american culture and its values. Young children were forced out of their homes and forcibly sent to Boarding Schools away from their Native American parents. I heard stories of trauma and helplessness of when the kids came back from a whole year in Boarding school, they could not talk or interact with their parents because they had completely forgotten the language and had already embraced a very american lifestyle. The lovely lady from the Exchange Visitor office came to tears as she shared about her growing up years. She mentioned that she and her dad used to pick up kids from boarding schools during the summer breaks and take them back home to their parents. They used to help translate between the kids and their parents and the parents felt completely devastated that they could no longer talk to their own children. The raw wounds of that injustice lives in the memories of people of Navajo Nation today. One might say, its been long and gone and maybe its best to move on. Maybe it is and maybe they are, in their own quiet way but I can't imagine if I could ever overcome the trauma of not being able to connect and communicate with my own family.

I wonder why History is always selective and gives us always only one lens of the story. The people of Navajo Nation continue to live on charity from the United States because of sanctions and limitations imposed by the Federal Government. They are not allowed to choose which Industries they can build and invest in for this socio-economic growth and this limiting their ability to break-out of the cycle of poverty.

Yet, in all my conversations, I felt a deep sense of pride of being part of an independent nation and upholding their values and culture. Someday I hope I can understand honour like this, pride like this and people like the ones at Navajo Nation.

I Re-Imagine

A little tired

In contemplation

I swing from peace to restlessness

Doubt and uncertainty

clound my thoughts

With mixed emotions

I walk by South Bank

Watching the lights 

London comes alive

as darkness engulfs

In a distant,

I hear strumming

a street musician

deep in his music

plays the guitar

my heart listens

in silence.

A few songs later

as I start to walk by

I hear a familiar tune

I stop in my tracks

Its 'Imagine'

he heard my heart's turmoil

He plays The Song

That has defined me

defined my journey

defined my dream

I re-remember

I re-Imagine

I re-build my faith

I re-Imagine

With peace my in heart

strength in my soul

I walk on. 

Imagine by John Lennon - The Lyrics

Imagine there's no heaven

It's easy if you try
No hell below usAbove us only sky

Imagine all the people living for today
Imagine there's no countriesIt isn't hard to do

Nothing to kill or die forAnd no religion too

Imagine all the people living life in peace
You, you may say 

I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only oneI hope some day you'll join us
And the world will be as one

Imagine no possessionsI wonder if you canNo need for greed or hungerA brotherhood of man

Imagine all the people sharing all the world
You, you may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only oneI hope some day you'll join usAnd the world will live as one

Eisenhower Fellowship: The Story of The Beginning

It is beautiful how the dots connect and life always has a way to bring you to the place where you seek to be or where you need to be.

The story actually starts in 2007 or atleast that's how far back I can remember it. I am sure it started much before that. An article written about Dream A Dream in a newspaper caught the attention of a person from Confederation of Indian Industry (CII) who wrote to me and invited me to his office for a meeting.

In anticipation for some funding for Dream A Dream, I land up at his office on my rickety Bajaj Chetak scooter and signature business clothes. As I walk into the reception area and ask to meet this gentleman, the secretary is a little perplexed and asks me if I have an appointment with him. I say yes and yet she does not seem to believe me. She goes in and announces my arrival and I am escorted into this very senior and warm gentleman's office. He takes one look at me and looks very confused. He asks, "If I am Vishal Talreja?" just to make sure and I answer in the affirmative suddenly doubtful if I had worn something wrong or had some lunch leftover on my face or clothes.

The gentleman says he was expecting someone much much older than me. Definitely not someone who looked younger than his son. I blush a little and try to make the best impression possible. He listens to me with patience and warmth and I like him very much for giving me this time and listening about my work. 

Anyway, to cut a long story short, I am invited to speak at the CII conference at Bangalore where another gentleman from ITC listens to me and later sends me an invitation to speak at the National Human Resources Development Network (NHRDN) Conference in Kolkata. I agree in prospect of meeting many potential corporate donors at a single platform. A senior person from the ITC office is reaching out to me and taking care of my stay and logistics and it all seems very strange to me. I get an opportunity to stay at the Chairman's guesthouse where the ceiling is as high as two floors and I have a person taking care of all my needs. I feel special and overwhelmed. I speak at the conference and I must have left a deep impression on the organizers and participants. This is 2007 or 2008.

In 2012, I get an email from this senior gentleman from ITC whom I met in 2007/2008 and he invites me to participate in another NHRDN Conference as a panelist to talk about Youth in India. I agree out of deep respect for the hospitality and respect they accorded to me in the earlier conference. 

I sit on this panel with 3 others with much experience and wisdom. I am thinking in my head, "If there is one idea that I can leave this audience of 300 people or one thought that will make them reflect or One opinion that will make them question their view of their world and explore a different view, what would it be?". I believe it could be if they start looking at Youth as Empowered Citizens of this vibrant democracy and active players in shaping our country and world around us. I share my ideas and as I answer questions at the panel, there is a senior gentleman from Aditya Birla Group sitting in the audience and he asks me a question.. 

He says, his biggest concern with young people in India today is that they don't seem to have any fear of anything. In earnest honesty, I answer, the biggest strength that Indian youth have today in this complex and rapidly changing world is that they are fearless and if anything, lets nurture that. 

At the end of the panel, I end end up having lunch with this wonderful gentleman and I enjoy our conversations deeply. As he leaves, he says he would like to nominate me for the Eisenhower Fellowship. Till that moment, I hadn't heard of this fellowship. 

I go back to Bangalore, do some research and it seems like just what I needed at that moment of my personal learning journey. As promised, he sends me an application form and gives me 3 days to complete it since the deadline had just passed but he thought my candidature might be quite strong. I work on this intense application over 3 nights and off it goes. I soon get invited to an Interview with the Eisenhower Fellowship Alumni Network in India and then an interview with a global representative.

And voila, In a month or so, I get a message of selection to the prestigious Eisenhower Fellowship Multi Nation Program for 2013. Their website says, Eisenhower Fellowships identifies, empowers and links outstanding leaders from around the world, helping them to achieve consequential outcomes across sectors and borders. Eisenhower Fellowship provides a transformational experience leading to lifetime engagement in a global network, where dialogue and collaboration make the world more prosperous, just and peaceful.

I didn't understand the true meaning and impact of the above words till now when I have completed my intense 7 weeks in the Fellowship, traveling to over 14 cities in the US, meeting over 85 individuals, all inspiring and insightful and most importantly making 21 friends for life from 20 different countries as my colleagues in the Fellowship.

As they say, our life is a series of dots and when connected it all makes sense and brings you exactly where you were meant to be today. I wonder how the dots of my EF experience will shape my future. I am eager and excited to find out. 

Homeless at Home

Every country has its set of unique challenges and problems. We have no right to make judgments against a country’s challenges with dealing with its problems. A lot of us in the Eisenhower Fellowship program have come across Homeless people in the cities we have travelled to – be in Washington DC, Chicago, New York, Seattle or San Francisco. The sight has surprised us, disturbed us and sometimes even made us question the values of this country. 

My colleague Yuhyun from South Korea empathetically shared her experience of observing a homeless family in Chicago and how not a single person came forward to support them. She challenged us in asking the question deep within ourselves about where have the great American leaders gone who spoke about liberty, freedom and justice.

A few days later I came across a news item which said that a certain facility had let go of all its patients with mental challenges and they had now become homeless. I am not sure if I grasp the issue completely but I have heard many reasons in my conversations with many people. Some say homeless people choose to live on streets, some didn’t want to be in institutional care and preferred the streets over the being confined in a facility, some are mentally ill and have been abandoned, some have serious alcohol or drug abuse challenges and some have been in conflict with the law and now don’t know what to do with their lives. Maybe all the reasons are true, some of them definitely are.

However, it continues to bother me that a developed nation like America has not been able to effectively deal with this challenge. I am wondering why. I doubt it is the lack of funding. Could it be a lack of willingness. Could It be that the problem is very small in the context of larger issues inflicting our society. How can it be small when it is related to dignity of another human being. I wonder.

The same homeless people on many other occasions have shown care, friendship and love towards each other and towards me, a complete stranger. As I walk through the streets of big cities and sometimes at night, I have met relatively harmless people going about their business. They might be loud with their conversations but never threatening. In my first week in Philadelphia, I saw a whole group of homeless people gather around the Benjamin Franklin way. As I was wondering what was going on, I saw a van park nearby and a group of volunteers from a local church had brought food for them.  The food was served with dignity and it looked hot and delicious. Chinese food was on the menu. One homeless person even asked me if I would like to have some. I politely declined. Soon, I saw another van stop nearby with more food. As I walked past it, the food looked cold, the bread hard and the smiles from the volunteers missing. The food was indeed quite bad as I saw quite a few people dump it in the garbage. In all these, there was support for each other, there was sharing and sometimes even some people giving up their own food for someone else. I saw a young Asian looking teenager get some food, eat it and even asked someone to take his picture on it. I saw a young couple, looking very much in love, sharing a meal. I wondered why they were homeless. I saw many with mental challenges, struggling to eat but eating anyway.

In Chicago, In Seattle and In San Francisco, homeless people everywhere. A Taxi Driver in Seattle shared with me that I might find more Homeless people in San Francisco because they migrate from northern cities on hordes to escape the cold. It was indeed true. In San Francisco, I sensed anger and resentment at being homeless. I sensed entitlement. I could see Homeless people get very angry if we walked past them and give them something. I watched in silence and wondered.

Another lens I observed with curiosity was how they can live their life with so little as possessions. They carry their possessions with them usually in a bag or suitcase on a trolley and some very fascinating and layers of clothes to keep warm. Wish I could put all my possessions in a suitcase and keep life simple. However, I rather that it be my choice or a choice made for me.

As I attempt to close my blog. I can't think of anything intelligent to say. I am only left with questions, observations, perceptions. I guess some questions need to stay questions. 

A Speck

We are, after all, less than a speck in the grand and ever evolving narrative of the universe. Spending a few moments at the Grand Canyon overlooking 2000 Million years of the supreme being’s story, I felt tremendously important to be a speck in this grand, magnificent story. And, also realized that the stresses we carry are just not worth it. We are only and only 80 years of tens and thousands of millions of years of an ever changing narrative. Felt relieved and much less burden. 

Taxi Drivers in Amreeka!

There is something quite engaging and beautiful about interactions with Taxi Drivers in the US. There are emigrants from other countries and there are people whose past few generations have grown up in US. 

There are whites, latinos, African americans, Asians and each have a story to share. They love conversations with their passengers and sometimes give you nuggets of wisdom that is quite brilliant.

An Indian from Haryana who has been here for just 3 years talked about how he plans from move from driving a taxi to driving trucks because there is more money and a long-term career in truck driving. An American, might be in his late sixties gives me his views on the homeless people about how they migrate from the north to the south (mostly hitchhiking) because it is warmer in the south. Which is why one sees more Homeless people in San Francisco as opposed to Seattle.

On a question I asked about discrimination against African Americans in the US, the driver said that the African Americans do not wish to mingle, they wish to stay within their own neighbourhoods and communities. This I thought was a strong statement but was fascinated to here an honest comment about how he saw it after all the diplomatic comments I had heard in many many meetings.

An Ethiopian driver realizing I was Indian went onto to mention MithunDa and Govinda, famous movie stars in India in the 90’s era and start singing “I am a Disco Dancer”. I was so pleasantly surprised and happy and totally thrilled to hear him say a few Hindi words and give me a big broad smile. I, ofcourse, didn’t want to break his excitement by saying that the above actors have long since become old and are not so popular in India anymore. I guess I wanted both of us to stay with our happy feelings.

Another time, a driver dropping us to the airport became a self-proclaimed tour guide and gave us interesting tit-bits of places along the route to the airport.

A really old driver who was once taking all of us and our bags to the airport was struggling to put our big bags into the trunk and when I offered to help him, he declined saying he will be fine. I could not see him struggling and just decided to help him anyway and without saying a word we felt a deep connection.

I have really enjoyed my cab rides and my conversations with drivers. They have entertained me, given me insights, shared their stories and their wisdom. I have felt a deep human connection with them and they have helped me feel welcome in their cabs. All I can say is, Thank You!

Irene

I saw her from the corner of my eye. Silent, graceful and almost unnoticeable. She looked easily over 70 and fit and healthy. Her hands were wrinkled and her eyes had seen a lot through the years. A little hunched back, she walked with a slow steady step. Irene is a cleaner at the Grand Canyon Cafeteria. 

Coming from an Indian cultural upbringing, my first reaction was that someone of her age should not be working cleaning at a Cafeteria. I quickly realized that was a judgment. Maybe, she chose to work there. Maybe, she loves being around people and maybe she enjoys her work at the Café. It helped me reduce my pain a little. I kept imagining if my grandmother had to work like this in her old age, I would not have liked that. But, maybe, it is alright for old people to work here. Without judgment, I continued to observe her as she went about her work with grace and calm.

She walked slow and we sensitivity. I noticed that she worked as if she was completely invisible, never coming in the way of the diners. I wonder if many noticed her. I realized none had. The perfunctory ‘Thank You’ was more out of habit than intention. People came in and went out, hardly noticing and acknowledging her presence. At one time, she was holding a heavy tray of trash and when she noticed a family coming in her way, she moved to the side holding the heavy tray waiting for them to pass. They didn’t notice her standing there.

She thought me, in that instant, to be mindful and to slow down and observe life as it happens. She observed this family and did her job. They didn’t and went about their business. I wonder what else I don’t notice in the business of my life. The hundreds or possibly thousands of people like Irene who are mindful to me at inconvenience to them.

How do I learn to slow down and observe life. How do I say ‘Thank you’ with intention. How do I invest in things that are truly important and learn to leave out the noise.

As I walked away, I looked at her and told her, ‘Thank you for taking care of me.' and then silently, "Thank you for reminding me about my grandmother and giving me a lesson on life."

Notes from the Road: Eisenhower Fellowship - Philadelphia and Washington DC

March 30^th until April 26^th 2013, Nearly 4 weeks have past since I have left Bangalore and embarked on this learning journey called the Eisenhower Fellowship Program. I believe my first week in Philadelphia was the best and most transformative so far in the trip. Meeting 22 very inspiring people from 21 different countries and listening to their stories or narratives (as Salvatore would put it) was absolutely awesome. We spoke, we shared, we let ourselves be authentic and vulnerable and in all that we bonded at a very deep level.

Discovering Benjamin Franklin was truly amazing as I learnt that there is no age to participate in nation building. To follow our purpose in life, to serve, to enhance the understanding of our world and to know that we are each capable of doing amazing, amazing things in our lifetime was just inspiring. 

The opening week in Philadelphia gave me hope for the world and inspite on my jetlag, I was driven by passion and inspiration. Then, we went our ways to explore, meet, learn from and with other Americans and in the process to reflect and discover ourselves once again.

As I hear stories from the past few weeks from other Fellows, I have realized, that we have indeed discovered ourselves in more ways than one.  In our anger, in our frustration, in our disturbing questions, in our wow moments, we have discovered more about ourselves than we have ever known. We are exhausted but come alive when we share our stories of insights and discoveries. Mine has been no different.

Washington DC was challenging. My jetlag was kicking in and I was finding it difficult to find my emotional and mental balance. I was finding It difficult to give it my all as I began my quest for answers.  The highlights were meeting with Vipin, Clara and Sachin and spending time with Jerry White. My meetings with Aspen Institute and Mala were insightful and validating. The visit to Anacostia reared its ugly head around racial discrimination and continuing questions of what will it take for us as human beings to learn to live together with respect for our differences.

I learnt,

Our work is actually quite awesome. We have an inspiring story. We have understood and articulated our problem well. The questions I stay with does our story match with the actual delivery of our services and their quality and the ground level. How do we connect with the facilitators more actively. How do we recognize and capture those moments when a child’s soul lights up with a life changing insight. How we make that happen session after session. A deep process of continuous reflection and mentoring of the facilitators is needed. More visits to the sessions. More time with the facilitators. More investment in continuous training. They are key to keep our quality alive and ensure that the story in my head is true to the story on the ground. 

The Space of Power Within

That exact moment when the noise of the world disappears and you connect to the soul of the world. That exact moment when one is immersed into the silence within and becomes an instrument of a larger purpose. That exact moment. In my life, I have had a few moments like that and that exact moment I had last week at the Opening Dinner of the Eisenhower Fellowship Program.

The stage had been set. I had spent a few days meeting, learning, sharing and interacting with some of the most inspiring people from across the world. I kept feeling the energy build up in me. Heightened sense of self-awareness and reflection were the order of the day.

On the evening of the Opening seminar, amongst other fellows, staff, trustees and sponsors of the program, I was given the honour to speak on behalf of all the fellows.

As I walked onto the stage, I wasn't sure what I would say. Preparations have never worked for me but unconsciously I believe, the message had started building within me. As I stood there, I went blank for the first few seconds. It was like meditation. I met the inner soul and we became one. Over the next 5 minutes, as I spoke, I knew it was not coming from my conscious being. It was a voice from deep within that came from the space of guts and feelings. As I completed my speech, I realized I was shaking and shivering. I was on the verge of tears that I held back. As I sat on the seat, the world came back into my consciousness and I heard applause, I heard compliments and a few people came over to hug me. I was still shaken and deep down I knew, what I said came from the space of my soul, from the oneness I experienced with the world. It was the most beautiful space. I realized I was shaking because I had just experienced something very profound. A place within me that is the storehouse of magic. A place within me that can help me achieve something extraordinary. A place where I spoke from a higher self to a higher self in the audience.

Over the next few days and even as I write this, I am still processing that experience and I am wondering if I have the power to go deep into that space of magic whenever I wish to. What was it about that experience that unlocked this magic for me. How can I surround myself with people or environments in which I can experience this deep space within, more often and more actively. Can I also use this power to create transformative experiences for others I come in contact with?

I do know now. It exists within. I believe it will require slowness, mindfulness and silence to unlock that space of transformation again. It will require shutting out the noise and listening to the soul of the world. The place of wisdom in our life. The place where we connect with the supreme being and become an instrument of its message.

I felt humbled and grateful. I felt I had received a gift of profound wisdom.