Illusions and Ironies

Since the time I joined Dream A Dream, every dear friend of mine, every well-wisher and every sweetheart of mine has said that I need to slow-down else I will burn out. I need to create a work-life balance. I need to do something more than what I do with Dream A Dream. Everytime I fell ill, the voices came again - "See I told you, you are burning up.", "What use is all this work, if you will die at 35 and not be able to do it any more." "What kind of a role-model will you be for the children? - A workaholic" "Dont you really want to see change happen. How will it happen if you have died before it happens."

The year 2008, began on not such a healthy note for me. I have been pretty much ill every goddamn month for a few days to a few weeks. Maybe because I reached the other side of 30. Maybe, all the burning up was coming back with a vengeance, maybe my body was giving me a notice period. I dont know but I have spent many a time of nothingness thinking "Am I really getting there? Getting burnt out?". I could not define what burnt out meant. Was burnt out just a physical giving up of your body. Didnt it even involve mental, emotional and spiritual state? Because, mentally I was on top of the world, emotionally (other than one more breakup and a complicated personal life) I was quite charged up and spiritually - I was just reaching my peak. The three together are still better than just being physically fit. Even with being physically unfit, I ran the 21-km Half Marathon and survived. I guess the fantastic three of emotional, mental and spiritual state did help me. ofcourse, i cant argue that if I am physically fit too - then maybe I will be superman :) and hopefully soon as I want to believe I am working on my physical self too.

I do believe in the infinite capacity of the spirit in helping us overcome tremendous challenges and difficulties and I think I am lucky to have this tremendous belief in my spirit to keep me going.

ok, for a second lets cut this spiritual bits and explore another perspective.

The words "Burning out" or "Work-Life Balance" - Do they really belong to the dictionary of a man on a mission or lesser still in the dictionary of an ordinary human being in India. My father has been working non-stop, in a job he most likely does not enjoy, definitely does not pay him what he deserves and yet he doesn't seem to have burned down. At 58, he is still able to climb the four floors of the civil court everyday and then3 floors to his office atleast 4 times a day. He get's his sleep, his Sunday off for half-a-day and yet he doesn't have burning out in his vocabulary. My mom definitely does not have burning out in her vocabulary - managing the house, managing her homoeopathic practice from home and the deluge of relatives that descend on her house severy night. Infact, she strives on these. She would not want her life to be anything else, except ofcourse kids who would listen to her. She is not burned out. Infact, I believe she will burn out if she stops anything that she does in her day today.

How about talking about burning out to a sincere daily labourer who needs to work day-in and day-out to make ends meet. Burning out to a domestic worker, to a construction worker. Hmmm, how about to a young man with many a dream who sells clothes at the BIG Big Bazaar and hundreds like him. Ofcourse they have their sunday special lunch at home, watch a movie on TV, go out with family or friends which are all the things I do too. Will I burn out, just because I see less movies than my peers, or I hang out at local pubs lesser or I take lesser holidays than them (I manage to get one Holiday a year - by default). So, somehow Burn out seems like an alien words now. It doesn't seem to fit into my dictionary of life. And, i am not saying I am a workaholic too. In perspective, I am less of a workaholic than a daily labourer, or a domestic worker or a rickshaw driver or a taxi-driver. Than, maybe I have more work-life balance than them and of the ultimate realization, I might actually live longer than them. Wow. I might actually live longer that the 2 Billion in the world who are below the poverty line.

Sometimes, I feel like stuffing this bullshit into someone's....and talking real stuff. I am here for a purpose. I do what I do because I love it and I want to do it. I want to die doing it. I want to live doing it. Live more than die doing it. I want to do it because I want to change the world and the world was not changed by people who stopped because it was a weekend. "Ok Honey, I am off changing the world because its the weekend and some self-help guru told me I need to have work-life balance." Imagine, Gandhi saying that to the millions of Indians. We definitely wouldn't be living in a free country then.

Imagine Mandela, Martin Luther King, Einstein saying this! Imagine Osama saying that. Although that may actually be a good thing. :) I can't wait to hear that. I makes me chuckle with the naivety of the billions who live their life in the mediocrity of the work-life balance.

I know I might be sounding vain now, but no I am not. I dont think the world will miss one more person who does not spend weekends cleaning his car, paying his bills, buying groceries, or watching TV but the world today definitely misses people who are visionaries, who are single-minded focused on changing the world, making it a better place and living their dream.

The question is - What kind of a person do I want to be? I think I know the answer. :)

So, lets cut the crap and get to work.