Irene

I saw her from the corner of my eye. Silent, graceful and almost unnoticeable. She looked easily over 70 and fit and healthy. Her hands were wrinkled and her eyes had seen a lot through the years. A little hunched back, she walked with a slow steady step. Irene is a cleaner at the Grand Canyon Cafeteria. 

Coming from an Indian cultural upbringing, my first reaction was that someone of her age should not be working cleaning at a Cafeteria. I quickly realized that was a judgment. Maybe, she chose to work there. Maybe, she loves being around people and maybe she enjoys her work at the Café. It helped me reduce my pain a little. I kept imagining if my grandmother had to work like this in her old age, I would not have liked that. But, maybe, it is alright for old people to work here. Without judgment, I continued to observe her as she went about her work with grace and calm.

She walked slow and we sensitivity. I noticed that she worked as if she was completely invisible, never coming in the way of the diners. I wonder if many noticed her. I realized none had. The perfunctory ‘Thank You’ was more out of habit than intention. People came in and went out, hardly noticing and acknowledging her presence. At one time, she was holding a heavy tray of trash and when she noticed a family coming in her way, she moved to the side holding the heavy tray waiting for them to pass. They didn’t notice her standing there.

She thought me, in that instant, to be mindful and to slow down and observe life as it happens. She observed this family and did her job. They didn’t and went about their business. I wonder what else I don’t notice in the business of my life. The hundreds or possibly thousands of people like Irene who are mindful to me at inconvenience to them.

How do I learn to slow down and observe life. How do I say ‘Thank you’ with intention. How do I invest in things that are truly important and learn to leave out the noise.

As I walked away, I looked at her and told her, ‘Thank you for taking care of me.' and then silently, "Thank you for reminding me about my grandmother and giving me a lesson on life."

Notes from the Road: Eisenhower Fellowship - Philadelphia and Washington DC

March 30^th until April 26^th 2013, Nearly 4 weeks have past since I have left Bangalore and embarked on this learning journey called the Eisenhower Fellowship Program. I believe my first week in Philadelphia was the best and most transformative so far in the trip. Meeting 22 very inspiring people from 21 different countries and listening to their stories or narratives (as Salvatore would put it) was absolutely awesome. We spoke, we shared, we let ourselves be authentic and vulnerable and in all that we bonded at a very deep level.

Discovering Benjamin Franklin was truly amazing as I learnt that there is no age to participate in nation building. To follow our purpose in life, to serve, to enhance the understanding of our world and to know that we are each capable of doing amazing, amazing things in our lifetime was just inspiring. 

The opening week in Philadelphia gave me hope for the world and inspite on my jetlag, I was driven by passion and inspiration. Then, we went our ways to explore, meet, learn from and with other Americans and in the process to reflect and discover ourselves once again.

As I hear stories from the past few weeks from other Fellows, I have realized, that we have indeed discovered ourselves in more ways than one.  In our anger, in our frustration, in our disturbing questions, in our wow moments, we have discovered more about ourselves than we have ever known. We are exhausted but come alive when we share our stories of insights and discoveries. Mine has been no different.

Washington DC was challenging. My jetlag was kicking in and I was finding it difficult to find my emotional and mental balance. I was finding It difficult to give it my all as I began my quest for answers.  The highlights were meeting with Vipin, Clara and Sachin and spending time with Jerry White. My meetings with Aspen Institute and Mala were insightful and validating. The visit to Anacostia reared its ugly head around racial discrimination and continuing questions of what will it take for us as human beings to learn to live together with respect for our differences.

I learnt,

Our work is actually quite awesome. We have an inspiring story. We have understood and articulated our problem well. The questions I stay with does our story match with the actual delivery of our services and their quality and the ground level. How do we connect with the facilitators more actively. How do we recognize and capture those moments when a child’s soul lights up with a life changing insight. How we make that happen session after session. A deep process of continuous reflection and mentoring of the facilitators is needed. More visits to the sessions. More time with the facilitators. More investment in continuous training. They are key to keep our quality alive and ensure that the story in my head is true to the story on the ground. 

The Space of Power Within

That exact moment when the noise of the world disappears and you connect to the soul of the world. That exact moment when one is immersed into the silence within and becomes an instrument of a larger purpose. That exact moment. In my life, I have had a few moments like that and that exact moment I had last week at the Opening Dinner of the Eisenhower Fellowship Program.

The stage had been set. I had spent a few days meeting, learning, sharing and interacting with some of the most inspiring people from across the world. I kept feeling the energy build up in me. Heightened sense of self-awareness and reflection were the order of the day.

On the evening of the Opening seminar, amongst other fellows, staff, trustees and sponsors of the program, I was given the honour to speak on behalf of all the fellows.

As I walked onto the stage, I wasn't sure what I would say. Preparations have never worked for me but unconsciously I believe, the message had started building within me. As I stood there, I went blank for the first few seconds. It was like meditation. I met the inner soul and we became one. Over the next 5 minutes, as I spoke, I knew it was not coming from my conscious being. It was a voice from deep within that came from the space of guts and feelings. As I completed my speech, I realized I was shaking and shivering. I was on the verge of tears that I held back. As I sat on the seat, the world came back into my consciousness and I heard applause, I heard compliments and a few people came over to hug me. I was still shaken and deep down I knew, what I said came from the space of my soul, from the oneness I experienced with the world. It was the most beautiful space. I realized I was shaking because I had just experienced something very profound. A place within me that is the storehouse of magic. A place within me that can help me achieve something extraordinary. A place where I spoke from a higher self to a higher self in the audience.

Over the next few days and even as I write this, I am still processing that experience and I am wondering if I have the power to go deep into that space of magic whenever I wish to. What was it about that experience that unlocked this magic for me. How can I surround myself with people or environments in which I can experience this deep space within, more often and more actively. Can I also use this power to create transformative experiences for others I come in contact with?

I do know now. It exists within. I believe it will require slowness, mindfulness and silence to unlock that space of transformation again. It will require shutting out the noise and listening to the soul of the world. The place of wisdom in our life. The place where we connect with the supreme being and become an instrument of its message.

I felt humbled and grateful. I felt I had received a gift of profound wisdom. 

Give me a city I can Trust!

Give me a city I can Trust!

A city where I can walk with freedom
Where I feel safe to walk the streets
Where I am not killed because of my gender
Where I can be fearless and alive

Give me a city I can trust
Where I know I will be taken care of
protected and loved
Where I can trust my fellow humans
and not fear dark corners or shadows in the night

Give me a city I can trust
Where I can play in parks
Breathe clean air
Care for stray dogs and cats
smell the earth
Fly kites and dance in the rain
pluck fruits from trees
and wake up to chirping of birds

Give me a city
Where love, care and empathy
for all humans, creatures and nature
are the basic tenets of society
and we are the care-takers.

Give me a city I can trust
Where I can make friends with strangers and neighbours
without feeling nervous or fearful
Where I get the respect I deserve
for being who I am.

Give me a city
Where I have a say!
Where I can discover and nurture my dreams!
Where I can explore in wonder
the beauty of our world
and feel proud to be a child
born in this city.

I urge you!
Give me a city I want to be born in!

~ An unborn child

A City our Children can Trust

At a Creative Dialogue a few weeks back, I coined a new vision for myself,  “A City our Children can Trust”. As I began thinking about it an inspiring imagery overtook my senses and I began to articulate my vision. What is a city? It is a community defined by a geographical boundary. It is made up of elements of governance, private and common spaces but more importantly it is made up a people who can feel a sense of ownership, pride, responsibility and accountability for this space. In my vision, the city can also be a country and can also be the world we all live in and make together.

Is it really possible for individuals to look beyond me, myself, home, family, work and everything else that we define as my space in our life? I realized it had become possible for me to think of such a vision. If we define this space in the context of the children who become a part of this space in the future, it makes up for a powerful vision of the future.

Who and what do we Trust? Why do we Trust? What comes to our mind when we hear the word Trust? For me, Trust is like a parent’s love – firm, rock solid, unconditional and ever-present. It immediately makes me feel loved and cared for. It is like familiarity. It is something I can come home too. It is a friend’s warm hug and it is a family’s sweet banter. It is where I feel I can go to anytime and all the time. It is assurance and reassurance. It is a space for freedom and expression.

A city our children can trust. What does that mean?

For me, it’s a space. A space where a child can walk and be fearless. A space where a child can walk the streets and still feel secure and protected. It is boundary-less. It is safety – physical, mental and emotional. In every aspect of the city, a child feels love and care.  The roads are clean and pollution free. There are green spaces that live in an awesome interconnectedness with development. There are spaces to play, to jump, to dance, to scream and to sing. A place for freedom!

For me, its people, who are looking after the city as something that they are care-takers of, for their children. 

They are working to make the city work for the children. They don’t own it but they take full accountability for it. It is people for whom the city is as much important as their own homes and they protect and care for it like their own home. There is mutual respect and support for each other. It is people who through values of care, support, empathy, tolerance and humility are true role models of the innate humaneness that is us.

It is a space that engages children as equal stakeholders and treats them as human beings who have a voice and an understanding of what they wish to make of this city. It is space that provides for all children without prejudice – water, food, education, healthcare. It enables children to discover their own dreams and passion and supports them to achieve it. A city that protects children from violence and abuse and upholds all their rights. It is a city that understands and respects the interconnectedness and interdependence of all universe. All creatures living in harmony.

It is a co-created space with leadership from the community and leadership understood as a responsibility, to be treated with honour and to be delivered with service.

A city our children can trust will be a space where we take challenges head-on and solve them as communities where each individual is equally important.

We know, in the current reality, we will be leaving our children a city, a world filled with challenges. Lack of resources like water and food. Spaces that are polluted and spaces that have eaten into the very fabric of human empathy. It is a reality we cannot escape. We have been irresponsible. We will be responsible for pushing our children to fight for survival. We are sowing the seeds of resentment, deceit and violence into our future. It looks bleak.

However, in this city our children can trust, it will not be the maxim of “survival of the fittest” but a maxim of let’s work together to find our solutions. Find solutions that bring us together, that create a supportive caring community. It is a space where survival is not based on wealth but on a shared ethos of love and care.

When a city like Bangalore runs out of water in 5 years, are we going to have our children fight with each other and kill each other to survive or would we like our children to respect every human being and work together to find common innovative solutions for everyone. Can we build a sense of resilience in our children that they will find hope in hopelessness and even in the toughest of times, find a way to keep their innate humaneness alive.

I am reminded of this moral dilemma in Batman when the joker has planted a bomb on two ships. One ship that has all the hardened criminals and other that has the  richest elite from Gotham city. He gives them the ultimate challenge of human empathy. He gives the bomb remotes to each ship for the other ship. The ship that would use the bomb first would stay alive while killing the other. The joker’s belief was that people will kill to survive and stay alive. A sadistic moral dilemma. The people in both ships had their own moral arguments. The rich said, anyway the other ship has hardened criminals, the filth of our city, killing them would only mean we are cleansing the city. No one wants them anyway. The criminals thought this is their opportunity to take revenge of all their hardships. This is their time to take over. Yet, when the clock struck the people in both ships chose not to press the trigger. They chose to appeal to their innate goodness and decided to sacrifice their lives because their humaneness did not allow them to kill the other.

Don’t we see that we, the humans of the present, have become the Joker for our children. We are forcing our children to make such inhumane choices in their future. In the name of economic resources, growth, development, greed, justice we are already making these calls and with each such action, forgetting our very soul of being human.

Will our children press the remote button or reach deep inside their souls to protect, care and support each other. The survival of our city would depend on these complex moral dilemmas. In the city our children can trust, the foundation of dealing with such dilemmas would be the values we impart today – not just as parents and teachers but as communities that make up our city.

Do we have the courage to look beyond ourselves, let go of our need to hoard and control and find our deep sense of love, care and support to build a City that our children can truly Trust! It is in our hands today. It will require us to unlearn everything we have known. Can we? Do we want to?

I believe we can! 

Ishwar

"Oye Tik Tik Tik Tik, Oye Oye Tik Tik Tik Tik!"

For many years, this sound has created an excitement and flutter in my heart and made me run out onto my balcony. I could hear it from many blocks away and then wait eagerly hoping that Ishwar would come into our lane today.

Ishwar has been selling Chaat (A sweet and savoury evening snack in India) on his cart from the time I can remember. He would make his trademark sound "Oye Tik Tik Tik Tik" and kids and adults alike would come out of their homes to taste his delicious Bhel Puri, Sev Puri, Nippat Masala, Tomato Masala amongst other delicacies. I never really noticed him but as a child I wondered where he came from, where he lived, how could he make such delicious snacks but never bothered to find out.

Last year, as I started wondering about the Invisible people in my life who have made my life comfortable or enriched my life with something they gave me, I thought of Ishwar. I, ofcourse, didn't know his name then. I once saw him pushing his cart from a slum near our office and moving towards the neighbourhood I lived in. It was a good 4-5 Km distance and I wondered if he ever got tired?

Recently, I found the courage to talk to him and ask him his name and where he lived and opened a whole new world for me. I could see how the years had caught up on his face and body. He looked pale and old and yet I could see his eyes twinkle as he spoke about his life, his family and his children.

I had finally seen Ishwar and all his humaneness.

I saw how much he loved his work and how passionately he continued to work. He remembered my family and had vague recollections of me as a child and he said he would like to keep selling Chaat as long as he could. I asked him why? He said because his customers wanted it. He said many a times, they have come looking for him. Sometimes they call him and ask him when he will be coming to their neighbourhood.

I saw how he had integrated his life's purpose with the people he fed. I sensed pride and love in his work and realized how much his work meant to him and how he had positively impacted the lives of thousands through his food.

He shared with me that he had four sons. Two were married. Two worked as engineers, one was a driver and another one I don't remember. Yet, he worked with pride and love and care on his art and his passion in life - To make delicious snacks and feed them to people. I saw how much people had loved him and his art and his life became complete with it.

I felt loved and grateful when I got to know Ishwar as he was! 

Freedom!

I see it in a distance
It seems elusive
I know its real!
Vivid in my dreams
Clear in my childhood
I know it exists!

As a child,
I have tasted it
Feel cheated by what I know
Hopeful of the unknown

Here it comes fast,
Loud, rumbling like a Revolution!
I smell it sweet and bloody.

I need it
I want it
Freedom!