I Paid A Bribe

Today, I paid a bribe. I was not in a desperate situation. I was not compelled to. I was not forced to. Yet, I did. I did because I didn't have the courage to say No. I wonder where is it within us we find courage and when and how to bring it up to support us when we most need it.

Over the last few weeks, I have been missing work and making the rounds of the Bangalore Development Authority (BDA), the government department that is incharge of land allocations for the city. My dad, with his very limited, savings had bought a property from the government in my name way back in 1992. The government never allocated the property. Some of the people who had invested in the properties got together, formed an association and filed a petition against the government and it was only last year, after 19 years, they got an opportunity for a replacement property and since then the rigmarole has started. Since the property was in my name, I had to be involved. We were told that a replacement property will be given to us for an additional price of Rs. 320,000/- and we decided to pay and go for it.

A few weeks back, we had to get the property registered and we started our rounds of visiting our case worker at the government office. Most days he was absent, some days he pushed us away saying his boss has not come to sign the papers and somedays he pushed it back on us that the papers were not in order. All this while, giving us very little information on the next steps so somedays we were sent back because we didn't bring a particular proof or I didn't bring photographs or my sign didn't match. We patiently pursued. Finally, my dad (who rarely ever uses influence) found a connection and we had to drop some names to make our papers move. It helped, except that the case worker was absent for a whole week and kept telling us to come back the next day. we landed up at his office and his colleagues told us, he hadn't come to work that day. Each time giving us different information and getting us confused. I guess, this as a strategy works because at some point, I will get desperate and push for my work to get done and that's when they dangle the bribe. The other option is I get angry, shout, create a ruckus - sometimes it works and sometimes it back fires - Your files can go missing, or they finding a mistake in your papers that cannot be rectified or they send you on a wild goose chase on some pretext.

Anyway, finally, today, 27th May 2011 - Our Good Samaritan in the government office called us and told us to come immediately because our case worker had come. We rushed and then the fun started.

At the Registrar's office, just below the BDA office, our papers kept moving from one person to another. They have one person just to take the papers from one table to the next, another who just typed your forms, another incharge of just verifying the documents, another just to glue your photograph and yet another just to stamp your papers. At each table, the consistent sentence at the end was, "What about me?" which meant give me a bribe. The first place my dad paid Rs. 50/- to a person who just stamped our papers. I was furious and told him not to do it. Then, I saw that every table there was a money exchange happening, quite openly too. The last straw, our documents had to be scanned before it can be given to us finally. The man takes us behind a few cabins and asks us for scanning charges of Rs. 260/- and then another Rs. 500/- for the registrar's services. I had told my dad that we will not pay the bribe so he refused saying we have gone through so much harassment from them already. I said something to the tune of, "But isn't this your work so why are u asking for more money.". He took us to the registrar who was a lady and she started shouting at us about how they hurried our papers but I refused to give in. While waiting outside, the man calls my dad and asks him again. I walk him with him and say NO. But dad relents and gives the bribe and I am just too angry to do anything. Shocked, angry, confused and very upset. The man pockets the money and quickly gives our papers. Then, he has the audacity to tell us that we need to pay Rs. 100/- to the man who sorted our papers too. We just walk out and don't give him the bribe.

This is not the end. I am worried we still need to pay a bribe to our case worker since he still needs to give us our possession certificate and the gentleman who helped us, my dad reckons he will ask us of something too. My dad says this is normal and happens with every property registration.

I come away - guilty and most angry at myself for not standing my ground.

Why I will never bargain!

Having brought up in a largely middle class family upbringing, I have always learnt to bargain for everything - from the vegetable vendor in the market, to the grocery store, to the restaurant down the road, to the stationery store, to the gift store. I used to admire my mother at her ability to bargain, bargain and bargain some more. She was notorious amongst the sellers in our neighbourhood for her bargaining and loved by all for her generosity and good nature too. I believe, she believed, bargaining was her birthright and she did get that from her mother, my grandmother. I also know that money was not easy to come by those days so every paisa mattered and counted and my mother wanted the best for her children, so bargaining was the way to go.

Over the years, our financial status did improve and there was less and less of bargaining. With more shops, shopping malls and large stores, the bargaining power also gradually disappeared. Today, my mom bargains more out of habit than out of need. It is sometimes quite amusing that my mom bargains to save Rs. 10 from a vegetable vendor and yet pays the full price or sometimes higher for the same vegetables at a branded store.

Anyway, things have changed and surprisingly, I never picked my my mother's bargaining gene. Albeit, I hardly ever bargain and when I do I feel guilty that I might have cheated the poor man of his earnings. I also realize, bargaining does not sit well with my values. If I bargain at a place where I can and don't at a place where I can't, I am not being fair. If that's the case, either I choose to bargain at both places or don't bargain at all. It seems simple enough for me to understand that whether its a store or a local vegetable vendor, both wish to make some profit so that they can improve their quality of life. I suspect the store makes more profit from me than the local vegetable vendor. Yet, I bargain with the vegetable vendor.

I have also realized that when the vendor realizes I don't bargain, he ends up giving me a fair price and their sense of fairness has always been more trustworthy. I know I might be judgmental here but its just my personal experience.

Finally, if a vegetable vendor does make a little extra on me, atleast it gives him space to be able to bargain with someone like my mom so net-net, he still ends up making the same money.

I think the biggest (bar)gain for me is to have the small chat with the vendor, share a smile and a joke and go along in our journey of life having enriched each other's life for a moment. That is a lot more precious to me than a grumpy, sulky affair where both of us feel cheated inspite or because of the bargaining. Bargaining seems like too much of a price to pay for the loss of a lovely conversation and smile.

Hence, No bargaining for me and I am glad my Mom might never read this :)