Haresh

He had a cut on his lip and walked with a wobble probably from polio but I will never know. My earliest memory of him is when I was a kid and he would come home and help my mother with carrying 20-30 buckets of water from the tank on the ground-floor to our home on the first floor, everyday for years. Always had a smile and always hardworking. My mom paid him a few rupees for his labour and he never argued about how much he was paid. 

In addition, I saw him do odd jobs for people within our community in our neighbourhoods. Buy stuff, deliver stuff, fill up water tanks, repair things - He did all that he was asked to do and receive with humility all that he was offered. I am not sure if it was really humility or just desperation to earn his daily living. I remember, one time, when he did find courage to ask for more, he was told off sternly and said never to come back and we can find many like him. He bowed, apologised and turned up the next day. 

As I got busy growing up, Haresh became a hazy childhood memory. I saw him once or twice at community functions, always on labour for some family like ours. Always helping out, never really hired. I remember him for I admired him. I looked upto him. He represented humility, hardwork and grace to me. Alas, I didn't know then that he also represented oppression, exploitation and injustice meted out to the likes of him, who didn't fully comprehend the ways of the world. I don't know how he saw it from his own perspective and now I will never know. 

For many years, Haresh did odd-bit jobs for my mom and she used to pay him what she thought was a fair wage and sometimes gave him an old shirt or trouser that no longer fit my dad. She, ofcourse, always fed him for no one, absolutely no one can go out of her house without something to eat. 

With time, I completely forgot about him. I married. Moved out of my parent's place. He continued to visit my mom, always working. marriage, that had its own challenges. Never felt the need to check on him, ask him about his story. How he came to be the helper that everyone depended on in our community yet no one felt to improve his quality of life. 

I never found out where you lived. How you lived. Did you have dreams of your own? Who looked after your dreams? Your needs? Who held you on days when you didn't feel it. Who was really in your family? Your parents? Siblings? Argh! so many questions, all a bit too late. 

He passed away last month. September 2020. My mom felt terrible. She felt sad for him. She said, 'He was always there for everyone, until his very death. Yet, when he died, no one was there for him." It hurt to learn that he died; that no one was around when he was dying; that the very people he supported never knew that he was ill or that he died. Even days after his death, people would call my mom and ask her to send their medicines through Haresh. 

I don't know Haresh if people saw you, really saw you. I know I didn't. I don't want your life and memory to disappear into thin air so I acknowledge you here Haresh. 

For my mom, who held a job, three kids and a household to run, you mattered. You were important and it was because of you, our mom had more time her us. 

For the ailing widow, a relative, that you supported until your last day, your mattered. You gave her the reason to live on. 

You mattered Haresh. 

Who do you want to be remembered as when you exit?

People leaving is a normal occurrence in the journey of any organization. In my 17-year career, I have seen many people leave Dream a Dream – some have left with pride, friendships, love and camaraderie and others have left with grudges, disappointment and anger. It doesn’t matter that people leave, that is part of life. What matters is how they leave?

Recently, we had someone leave Dream a Dream after a short-stint of one year. We were sad to let this person go. In just a year, this person had won our hearts with his humility, work ethic and commitment. He got a much better opportunity and we were delighted for him while we were sad to see him go.

However, one thing struck me about his exit and it was the way he left the organization. For me, it was one of the most remarkable transitions and exits I have ever come across. Here are a few things he did, that won my heart.

1. While, he had a compelling offer and they needed him to join at the earliest, he negotiated that he can only join after 3 months. The notice period in our offer letter stated only one month.

2. He knew he had made certain commitments to the organization and to our external stakeholders and he wanted to make sure he met those commitments before he exited.

3. He wanted to give the organization sufficient time to find a replacement for his role. He knew that it’s difficult to find people for senior roles and more so, in his very niche area.

4. He wanted to make sure he does a thorough and complete transition to the new person while he was still around.

5. He put together a comprehensive transition plan that covered all critical aspects that would help a new person hit the road running from Day one.

6. He made a master document outlining his directory structure, key relationships and status with each of them and finally a list of key tasks that require attention.

7. He ensured he reworked his folder / filing structure including renaming files to make it easy for the new person to find documents. He invested time in cleaning up his folders.

8. He ensured there was active communication with all external stakeholders and managed any anxieties that might arise with pending timelines.

Finally, he ensured that the universe of relationships he built at Dream a Dream were kept intact and everyone would remember him for the remarkable colleague, friend and human being that he is.

Through this transition, I wondered why he invested as much time and effort and the question I asked myself is ‘Why was it important for him? Why is it important to transition well out of an organization?’

Transitions leave an impact on the organization. Work gets impacted for a certain time period till it picks up again. Sometimes, it puts pressure on the system and is a cause for stress, especially in small organizations. The burden moves to others in the team and it affects their ability to be productive.

In the way that this person planned and executed his transition, I learnt that it’s important to leave with your head held high. Leave without burdening the organization to manage and figure things out after you are gone. Leave knowing that your hard work will bear fruit and will be continued as you had planned and for that is important to plan your exit, prepare for your transition and invest in making it thorough. It’s important to take pride in the work that you have done and that pride ensures you plan and execute a thorough transition.

Moreover, in our time with organizations we build and nurture relationships, we make friends and it’s important to keep the connections intact. A half-hearted transition could, in a moment, undo the hard work and credibility you have built in your time here.

Something we all have to think about is, ‘what and how do you want to be remembered when you are gone? What is the legacy you want to leave behind?’

Mahesh Chandrasekar, you have set new benchmarks at Dream a Dream for transitions and exits and you will always be remembered for your amazing work ethic.

2015: A Letter to Myself

I haven't been the right space of mind lately. An idea has been running in my mind to write a letter to myself and at the end of it, discover what it tells me. so, here goes...  

~ The year saw my elder sister take the entrepreneurial route, not so much out of her choice, as much as how some incidents played out in her life. It meant investing all her hard-earned savings of the last 15 years and take a complete detour from her life plan. She has been unrelenting in her resilience to stay the course, learn a new business, stay grounded and work tremendously hard to attempt to make it work.

~ My younger sister took the other plunge and got married to the love of her life. The year started with a beautiful and memorable wedding and it was just so amazing to see her traverse the first year of marriage with such grace. The love she and her husband share, the respect for each other and how they hold each other in their hearts is just beautiful. In all this medley, she continues to run her new business and learn the ropes of entrepreneurship.

I don't say this often but my sisters are an inspiration and role models to the many women who choose to walk with their head held high.

~ My best friend had a baby girl. I am over the moon and just so happy for them. She is just so adorable and it's even more adorable to see the doting parents. The first time I held her, I went weak in my knees and felt committed to create a better world for her. 

~ One of my closest friends got married to someone who brings just so much happiness in her life. They remind of the simplicity and eternity of love. I wish them the best of life and happiness. 

~ Reconnecting with my school mates, many of them after 21 years. The un-adulterated laughter, sheer happiness, many memories and deep connections we are sharing has helped me go back to my happy place in childhood. 

~ My travels (which I love) took me to Dubai, Copenhagen and Singapore for the first time this year. Dubai was about reconnecting with friends. Singapore was about discovering food and local communities. Copenhagen was just an amazing personal holiday combined with a conference. 

~ Reconnecting with my friends in Dubai and meeting their children for the first time. Feeling loved and cared for. I felt a deep connection to their 6-year old daughter and in her found the curiosity and yearning that life has for itself. She gives me so much hope for the world and made me feel alive with empathy and love. A bond we share today, that goes beyond age, to our souls. 

~ Continuing my exploration of food and getting more confident with my cooking. Food, its history, its culture, its connections and the love it brings within people and families. Excited to explore this part of me in 2016. I feel proud of the history and love for food that I have inherited from my family.

~ Seeing one of my closest friends make a graceful and most amazing transition from her organization and through the pain of it all, discovering the expanse that life holds for her. She taught me humility and grace in letting go. Thank you for considering me trustworthy to be part of this inner journey.

~ Being part of another friend's journey to take on leadership in her organization. Fighting her demons and winning them over; building her confidence and holding herself with dignity though the journey was a lesson in self-belief. 

~ Learning about a dear friend and mentor's illness was devastating. Feel overwhelmed and helpless. Yet, in this difficult time, he just shares joy, happiness and laughter with the world. He gives us the gift of his sharing and in making us part of his journey, he helps us cope with our own pain. 

~ Dream a Dream hosted its first ever conference - Change The Script. Our attempt to go deeper with our inner journeys, ask the difficult questions, listen to each other without judgment and build a larger eco-system invested in our children. The buildup was painful but the outcomes was awe-inspiring.

~ Change at Dream a Dream also came with a whole new brand launch. Our attempt to celebrate 15 years of hardwork with being bold and unapologetic with our ideas, approaches and work. This was combined with the move to a new office - More spacious, airy, colourful and living the bold and unapologetic message. 

~ Experiencing the power of young people in Changing The Script and claiming their dreams through the immense, often unfathomable, challenges that life throws at them. Being part of this extremely difficult journey with especially 4 young graduates this year from Dream a Dream showed me the power of just backing them, trusting them and willing them on follow their dreams. Vishnu, Nandish, Ranjith, Arun - you held me together.

~ Watching Suchetha live one of her best professional years yet and really show up with her soul was just the most heartening aspect of 2015. She today holds the soul of Dream a Dream together and she does it with so much care and empathy. The result is in the most amazing team we have; people who have turned corners and discovered their most awesome self; new people who have found purpose and many more who can't wait to be part of this journey. When I see Suchetha, she shows me the kind of leadership we need in this world today - that of care, empathy and deep personal work. She lives it daily and is the best representation of that in the work of Dream a Dream today.

~ 2015 is the year I say (and have said many times) that Dream a Dream is doing its best work ever. 15 years of trying, very hard and with intention and we are just about discovering that true, sustainable change happens only with taking young people and adults through their own journeys of transformation. We stay true to the path of truth and our only commitment is to solve the problem. Every moment of everyday, we have seen, heard and experienced powerful moments of transformation in 2015. 

 ~ This year Suchetha and myself also complete 2 years of being married. It has not being without its share of doubts, challenges and questions. We have shown each other the worst within us and yet felt safe that only we can see the worst of each other and be in love. In all our turmoils, we have given each other dignity and respect and that has kept us together. We also know that when we are in sync, we are amazing. Our best inner work and our best ideas happen when we are one soul in two bodies. We crave for those moments and when they happen, its magical. We are unstoppable and we love it. 

It's been a difficult year for me. Many internal turmoils, moments of doubts, boredom, immense helplessness and many a time overwhelming shock. World events and events closer to home have deeply impacted me and paralyzed me. I feel trapped and many a time, purposeless. On days, I find myself unable to even move beyond my couch. Suchetha has held me close in these moments and given me strength. Dream a Dream has helped me stay sane and the young people have given me hope. Everyday, I hold onto something to help me get through. Boy! Am I glad I have found something every day. 

Looking back, I realize how amazingly full and rich with milestones and experiences my year has been. Family, friends, mentors and strangers who have held me close and supported me. 

In 2016, I hope I can find within me the ability to let go of the gloom and embrace the simplicity that life continues to offer. As I recently read in an inspiring book about a 100-year old man, "Whatever will be, will be"!